Adam

Nick had never looked at a male lustfully until now. He had always seen women and thought they were attractive and kissed them, but he knew he never truly was attracted to him. He thought he just needed to find the right girl, but now…

Nick’s Adams-apple bobbed as he peered into the window of his best friend’s room. Now, usually Nick would use the door, but today, he decided was a window day. But his best friend Adam had been unaware of this and his best friend stood in front of his mirror, staring into it.

Adam wore a high-class blue dress, squarely cut at the top of his neck, making his collarbone look extremely feminine. He also wore black high heels, giving Nick a view of the shaven legs that were always covered by jeans. As Adam’s hair had always had a hippy-ish look for a man, it now looked as a short haircut for a woman. Nick took this all in with wide eyes as Adam looked over himself, unaware.

“Shit…” Nick whispered to himself, watching as Adam did a small twirl in his dress. Adam was alluring in the dress and unintentionally made Nick watch on with a lustful look. At that moment in time Nick was seriously questioning himself.

Did Adam always dress like this alone? Was his best friend transgender? If so, how long had Adam been keeping this secret from him?

Why did he like it so much? Was he gay?

Nick was confused as he watched Adam try a smile to himself. Nick smiled too when Adam did because he truly looked beautiful, but then Adam’s smile slipped and his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Adam angrily pinched himself hard in the arm on a bruise that always seemed to be there, Nick only now, realising that. The sight made Nick sad for his best friend as Adam ripped off the high heels and chucked them across the room. He then carefully, but angrily took off the dress and stared at himself in nothing but boxers.

Adam’s skin was pale and his body was delicate and thin. Nick watched as Adam looked over himself with hateful eyes, full of disgust, self-loathing and sadness. The sight had Nick closing his eyes.

Is this how Adam truly felt? Disgusted by his body?

Slowly and quietly, Nick climbed down from the tree he had been perching on and decided to leave. He wanted to go and comfort Adam, but he doubted Adam would feel better having to suddenly panic and grab everything to hide it from him. Besides Nick was now questioning everything he had thought about himself.

*

Getting out of bed was always a problem for Adam. Firstly he would be ripped from his wonderful dreams that consisted of a faceless prince who would treat him like a princess, by his alarm clock. Secondly he had to get dressed, a task that was horrible, as it involved staring at his body before finally covering it up in uncomfortable male clothes.

But one thing made everything worth it all. And that something was his best friend, Nick.

Nick had always been there for Adam. Nick had stopped bullies from picking on poor Adam and in return Adam had comforted the boy through his father’s death. Adam felt Nick had been there through thick and thin, regardless of the shameful secret Adam held.

No one knew Adam dressed as a woman when he was alone. No one knew Adam suffered each day longing after his best friend but never being what his friend truly wanted. No one knew Adam despised his body. And no one knew Adam’s plans once he left high school, which was to start hormone therapy and have surgery.

Once Adam had arrived at school, after taking half an hour just to change into his normal attire; jeans and a t-shirt, he went straight to his locker to see Nick waiting for him. But Nick had a girl next to him, looking up at him with hopeful eyes. Nick could have her if he wanted. Adam wished it were possible for Nick to like him, but life was cruel and Adam was stuck in the wrong body, wishing his best friend would see him for the woman he was.