Why Does This Happen To Me?

It doesn't go away does it?

Having friends and crushes is so hard. Having the friend you gave everything to. Even if you didn't have much what you had was there's. For them to look you in the eyes and tear and ripped you apart and walk away like it never happen. Well thats my life. Welcome to hell it's hot here we all burn slowly because we are the victims, and justice never is served. Not ask me why that's just how things work. Crushes are different. I'v loved boys. Not as a brother, But just love them. Only 2. Chad was the first. I really loved him. He was the guy that wanted to be around you but he didn't want you to know that. He was so sweet and I loved him so much. I was so young didn't know anything about true love but I thought I did. He never said he liked me but he did. He told other people he did and I just told myself he didn't because I didn't want my heart to be broken. I was 10. 10 years old confused girl. I lost my brother. He was gone. I was learning the real world is a bitch. The worst things with people is that there monsters with friendly faces. I'd know for sure because I deal with them. Everyday. Every mother fucking day. Nobody knows that I do. I'm so worried and scared to hurt people but they hurt me. No problem not at all. It's just like they don't know. But they do. My second love is Someone else his name was Ronny. He was my second boyfriend. Well my 1st was an asshole and he didn't love me. I had a little crush on him and he had one on me so we dated for like a month not even he doesn't matter that much in my love life. But Ronny, he escaped me from reality he loved me when I didn't love myself. He treats me like a Queen. He is my everything. I'v have this friend he's super sweet and his name is Drake. I'v known him my whole life. But one day I was on my phone outside sunset at my dad's waking my dog outside. I saw something Japanese username and texted him and asked who he was. Week or to later *ringing *calling him everyday. I made a friend. And it was a boy! Boys my age were mean and annoying. I thought this was the best thing ever. I had a boyfriend and a boy that was a friend. There is a difference. XD SOUNDS mean but there is. We talked all the time. I didn't think much of it. I had someone to understand me for me. No more fake friends. The only thing was he was 4 states away. I only saw him in February. We hung out and went to the movies with Abby and my dad. My friend Drake and boyfriend Ronny changed my life for the better. I was more happy. Because someone loved me. And someone understood me even if he was 4 states away