Scarred {ls}

October 2nd

❤️
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I stared out the window in front of me, the world zooming past me as the bus drove. Rain splattering all over the window as it down poured. I took a small sip out of my newly made tea. I liked being up early, 4:20 to be exact. I liked being able to just think and to be able to view the world as its not all fully awakened yet.

I smile, taking a rather large gulp from my tea, spluttering as it goes down the wrong tube. "Dammit." I curse, using the sleeve of my long tee to wipe up the mess I created. "Harold, language!" My heart jumped as well as the rest of me. I turn around quickly, trying not to act like a love sick fool, even though I am. "Well don't just stare dork. I know it's early but you're making me self conscious." He laughed.

I quickly apologized, looking away from his half naked body. God he looked so good just sporting joggers. How could he feel self conscious? He always looked rather stunning, no matter what occasion. My mind was running wild with so many thoughts. So many fantasies and hopes. I had to stop myself though.

He wasn't like that, no matter how much I could try, wish, and pray; I knew he wasn't like me. He had different picks. He liked them thin, cute, and well... A girl. No matter how much I want to starve myself, I'm missing one thing, excuse my French, a vagina. Unless he wanted the boulders on the front, I'm missing those too.
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   October 2nd, 6:30 a.m

     "Alright boys lets get a move on!" Our body guard, Jared, calls out. I get up from the couch, making a b-line for the bus door. I just loved meet ups, they can get out of hand but, I just love them. One by one the boys and I start to pile out of the bus. We all make our ways into the hotel's hall. My excitement gets the best of me and I squeal and start to skip to the signing table.

      "Knock it off Styles, only girls do that." I stop in my tracks. Furrowing my eyebrows. What a dumb thing to even say! What? Only girls can get excited? But instead of starting anything I just nodded my head and continue my way to the table. I shouldn't let what Jared say get to me, really I shouldn't. He was an asshole who always made fun of the LGBT+ community.

     "Alright guys, lines will start any minute now, I wanna see all smiles!" Paul, my favorite bodyguard, laughs. I laugh, "Always Paully." I really do love Paul. He's like the father to us 5 grown men, plus he's the only one who knows of me being gay. I don't know what I would do if we only had Jared.

     Time seemed to fly by as we signed and chatted quickly with fans. My mood was already lifted just by being around amazing bunch of peoples. "I. Am. Dead." Zayn said, standing up from our hard metal chairs, and stretching. I cringe as I hear each and every backbone pop. "Disgusting." Louis laughs, but copying in his footsteps."Oh hush it Lou, yours was way worse!" Zayn argues back, playfully pushing on Louis shoulder.

    They both started bickering, I watched, heart eyes on full display. Louis just looked so good today. His light brown hair pushed back, a messy quiff.  His jaw line could slice me and half and just Jesus save me, everything about him looked delicious. Like those jeans just shape so perfectly around his as- "Harry are you okay?"

     I slightly jump, my head turning quickly to see Liam looking at me confused. I full, nodding my head quickly. "Y-yeah, just tired." I speak lowly. Liam shrugs, "Understandable." He laughs, patting my shoulder and walking off. Probably to go break up Louis and Zayn who have now managed to be wrestling on the floor.

     "Ow Liam why the hell did you just snack me in the head?" Louis gasped dramatically. We all knew that it didn't really hurt him like he's claiming it did. I watch as Liam rolls his eyes, folding his arms over his chest. "Boohoo Tomlinson. Go cry me a river." Louis shakes his head, quickly jumping on top of the bigger lad, making them both go tumbling to the floor.

     I laugh to myself, God I am in love with such an idiot. That being my idiot. Louis William Tomlinson.

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