The Bush The Briar Wanted To Be

You Are a Machine

You are a Machine. A series of calculations and automatic responses. A small array of preset functions. Careful calibrations. Unsatisfactory upgrades. You are just some confounded device malfunctioning to your highest potential. But you are surrounded by Life. Beautiful life. Amazing life. Wonderful life. Life... full of Suffering. Ugly, fickle life.

But despite the pain, people still move forward. Like a raging river people keep going. For reasons you can't comprehend they keep going. And you keep going with them caught up in their flow. But you weren't made for this. You are just a Machine. You get caught on branches, rocks and beached in shallow waters. You don't float, you sink yet the current pushes you on. You know you can't get left behind. You know that. If the river moves on without you, you'll drown. But you aren't the fully functional device you were when you were dropped in this river. The water has fried your circuits and damaged your interior structure. Yet you still move forward. You're broken. You know it. But you don't know any other direction to move than forward.

You feel a hand. You, a Machine, feel a hand. Another one. Not yours but holding yours. A soft hand. A kind hand. There is another. Not a machine, a person. A real, live, actual person. Holding your hand. You are amazed. They smile. Their gaze reaches you. Not just you, in you. They don't know what they're doing. Neither do you. But some feels right. Something tells you they're fixing you. Some tells you you're a little less broken.

And then they let go.

You panic. Where did they go? Another path? A split in the current? They went somewhere. They're just not here! You don't know where they went. You look back. You see where you once were. Where they once were. Where you were together. Where they left. You want to go back. You try to go back. Against the current. Against everything you know to be true. But you are blind. You are stubborn. You are desperate. You are a machine. They are a person. You long for their warmth. Their touch. Their compassion. Them. But you're sinking. The current is dragging you forward but you're still trying to go back. Your foot is lodged in the past. You're struggling to breathe.

Still looking back you see their smile. The smile they pointed at you. They reach their hand out to you. You go to grab it. You're so close. You can almost reach it. But this damn river! Oh, this river! It's pulling and prying trying to get you to keep going. To move on. But you can't! How can you when they're right there? They're so close you just have to reach!

You drown. Still reaching for their hand you suffocate under your own burden. Your body finally floats. Lifeless. The river carries you on. Mourning.