Letting Go

surprise

This place is so romantic! Full of petals, candles flowers, chocolates. What's all of this for?

I looked at Kris but he just gave me a disarming smile.

"Come on ly. Let's enjoy this"

Wow. This is paradise. I don't know what to feel.

I can't contain my smile and my tears. Why does he need to be this sweet? This sweet that it is the same scenario of my first anniversary with kief

Kief, i can't. I miss him

Kris: ly? Hey? Why are you crying? This was supposed to be a no crying night, hush now please

He hugged me and I know in my self that he built a house in my heart now. A small one but with domination. He's telling me he wants to court me in a playful way couple of months ago and i didnt realized he's doing those things and he started! Stupid me

Ly: im sorry, im just happy. Why do you have to be this sweet?

...like him? Why?

Kris: ow haha kala ko ano na. You deserve all of this ly, you deserve all the love in the world

What?

Ly: dont joke around please

Maybe he's just making fun of me!

Kris: im not  ly. I love you

And the next thing he did makes me sob so hard! My God he's kneeling

"Ly, i know you've been through alot and i know very well that you're afraid but please? Can you give me a chance to call you mine? And let you feel fow much i love you? Will you be my girl?"

At this moment, really why am i thinking of him? Ugh

I know this is hard but why not give it a shot? I mean theres no rebound here i promise. I love hime, like no its not as how much i love kief but i want to give him a chance

I hope its right.

I nodded slowly and that made him shout and hug me swinging me and shouting how much he love me.. you're forever in my heart kief. Forever.

--

She said yes. Masakit man but i needed to let her go. Mahirap man but i need to see that my decision is all worth it.

Look! It is worth it (a tear dropped from his right eye and that made him smile sadly. Iniisip niyang wala na pala talaga sa kanya ang mahal niya, wala na si Ly sa kanya)

Ive been watching them kahit masakit. She's happy now.

I helped kris with this and cant be more happy seing her smile

I cant contain my tears and im just sobbing. God knows how much i love her. How much i adore her and how unselfish am i if shes in the equation.

Im willing to let her go, to let her be happy, even though that happiness doesnt include me

Nandito lang ako sa may puno nakatago. Im sitting in my wheelchair waiting for my time to come. Yes almost.

I have a heart disease. Hindi ko na sinabi sa kanya, di na din naman ako tatagal. Hindi na siya macucure eh. (Napangiti siya ng mapakla and looked at the sky trying to stop his tears and waiting)

Masakit buong katawan ko dahil sa sakit ko, its slowly killing me. Ang payat ko na and ang puti ng labi ko. Naiiyak nga ako habang tumitingin sa salamin. Iniisip ko na masaya nako na ang mukhang kaharap ko ay minahal niya kahit sandali (he's been hurting but wala siyang magawa)

I love her and seeing her now? Okay na. Masaya na akong aalis

Nurse: sir tara na po

Anton, nurse ko to pero palagi tong nakikinig sa akin.

Kief: no pls. Kahit ngayon lang. makita ko lang siyang masaya please ton

Napayuko siya. Isa sa ayaw ko sana yung naawa sila sakin pero pano ko ba yon maihihinto?

Nurse: okay po

Naiiyak yung nurse ko, alam niya din kasi. Siya yung sinabihan ko ng lahat. Lalaki to pero umiiyak

Kief: ton?

Eto na yata yung huli kong kausap sa kanya

Nurse: po?

Kief: salamat ha? Ilang buwan ang tiniis mo para sakin. Magpapahinga na sana ako ton okay lang ba?

Bigla siyang napa tabom mg mukha niya sabay ngiti sakin ng pilit at lalapit sana

Nurse: nako sir okay lang po itutulak ko napo kayo para makahiga kay-

Pinigilan ko na, alam kong malapit na. Ang saya na mama ni ly nandito para sakin nakangiti

Kief: no ton alam kong alam mo na ang tinutukoy ko eh panghabambuhay ang alis ko haha salamat ha? (Nginitian niya lang si anton habang umiiyak) utang ko sayo ang ilang buwang buhay ko ton. Salamat sa pagtatyaga mo sakin, sa pakikinig sa mga iyak ko pag miss ko na si ly. Parang kapatid nadin kita kaya magiingat ka ha? Babantayan kita lagi

He cried harder. Wala talagang basehan na dapat siguro babae lang ang umiiyak

Nurse: kuya naman eh. Wag muna. Malulungkot kami! Kuya pagod ka na ba talaga?

Anton said kahit masakit marinig na aayaw na ang taong tinuturimg niyang kuya

Kief: oo eh. (Ngumiti nalang ako sa kanya kasi lumapit na siyat lumuhod sa harap ko para ayusin yung unan na nakapalibot sa likod ko) ton okay na ako. Masaya na siya. Can i borrow your phone?

Labag sa loob na ngumiti sa anton and alam niyang for the last time na mahahug niya si kiefer

Nurse: kuya alam kong magpapahinga ka na, sana mag ingat ka ha? Mahal ka namin at ni minsan hindi ako nahirapang alagaan ka. Masaya akong naalagaan kita at malungkot kasi di kita napagaling pero sana masaya ka na. Mahal kita kuya, kahit masakit basta wala ka ng poproblemahin okay na ako, wala ng masakit dun kuya kaya okay na sakin

I smiled again to him and he gave me his phone

Kief: doon ka na muna sa sasakyan balik ka nalang dito mga after 30 min.

Then he hugged me bago umalis na umiiyak. Mamimiss ko yun

Tinext ni anton gamit ang iba niyang phone ang pamilya ravena na pumunta kung nasaan sila. Inaasahan na nilang aayaw na si kief pero di nila alam na ngayon na yun kaya di halis makita ni anton ang screen ng cellphone niya dahil sa luha

He composed the message that brokes his heart

To: dani,maam,thirdy,sir
Eto na po yun. Nandito po kami sa park. Halina po kayo

Naalerto silang apat sa natanggap nilang text and umiiyak na sila habang tumatakbo sa kanya kanyang sasakyan, iniisip na suna makausap man lang nila sa huling pagkakataon si kiefer. Masaya pa kasi silang nagbibiruan kanina kaya di nila ito inaasahan

*not now kuya* iniisip ni dani kasi siya yung pinaka close kay kief sa kanilang magkakapatid eh kaya halis paliparin niya yung sasakyan niya papunta sa park

25 min. After sumilip ako sa kanila. Kumakain na sila. Nakita kong lumingon si kris. I mouthed him my thank you and he just nodded and smiled to me.

Yes i know kris. Nung nalaman kong mahal niya si alyssa kinausap ko siya. Sinabihan, binalaan at lahat. Kaibigan ko na yun at nagpapasalamat akong saknya napunta si ly

I get one pillow from my back, put ton's phone in the grass. I hugged the pillow tight and thats when i feel my world stop. Next thing i know wala nako sa mundo.

"Lord masaya na ako. Salamat"