Depressing shit written at 2am

Being diagnosed?

After some shithead got me flagged for self harm, my parents found out. I hate it and I have no idea what lies ahead for me.
Although there is some hope. You see, I have been trying to set up an appointment with my surgery without my parents consent - I've been having daily private conversations with counsellors. I've been finding it really hard and i thought id never get diagnosed.
But now my parents know - with some confidence and an emotionally stable mind, I can ask my mum to set me up an appointment.
I'm scared to death; my mum has been through the same things as me and she'll blame herself for my suffering.
I don't want to deal with all of the pain I felt at eleven when I found at my mum self harms again. But its the only way to sort myself out. I'm gonna have to woman up and deal with the pain without tying a noose. I'm terrified, but I need to try.