Sterling's Journal

| Entry 10 |

5/23

Double digits. That's depressing. A possibly 30 year old just made ten journal entries, yet didn't even have a Sixth birthday. By the light, when was the last time I even celebrated? Three? Five? Love of all that's unholy, this is just depressing.

I constantly feel like I'm lying to my self. That pain that rises in my belly feels just like my childhood when I took cookies. Nice to know somethings stay constant with time. Some, things...

"You deserve this! You're not meant for people!"

How do you explain Frostfae?!

"You were just her Pick-Me-Up, dumbass! She was your Pick-Me-Up too from your lonely life, kid!"

She did so many things that I know she had sensitivity to, so I couldn't have been just that!

"Just a fixer for a job at her night shift, spending time away."

You're the whore here.

"You're the rapist."

I didn't have control!

"You didn't have control because you let yourself lose control. You let it happen because you grew weak!"

I just wanted to tame a fucking beast!

"And you tamed your beast in the bed, and gave her quite a lot to fill her tummy. Too bad it wasn't the mouth or the fur."

You're useless.

"Yet I exist with much more power than you?"

You're...

"We're, horrible people."

We are...

I want to stuff my feelings away, muffle Sterling with a gag and bind him up in the corner... But he's just so determined. So passionate. Like a kid.

I guess I never did grow up from those innocent years of poverty. I mean, I'm still living in poverty too! Learning all by myself, and being to kind to others.

"Like giving animals all our food supplies?"

Only part of it. Animals need a helping hand occasionally too.

"Doesn't get you very far."

I'm sure Mr.Kitty would be proud of us for being nice in our time of suffering.

"We're on our own. Spirit won't go away so we're stuck like this. Plus he scares food away. So hard to find better food."

We're still alive, and he's helping us stay alive. Matter of fact, what gender is Spirit?

"Don't care all that much..."

You never care. You really do just not care.

"Not for myself, or others. Sadly death strays from my door step many more times than I'd like to think about."

Dick.

"I know I am, and so are you."