Slowly Killing Me

My Childhood

As a child, I wasn't a fast learner. I had to go to this room with a bunch of toys as the kids go on the computers adding up numbers. I had to play with animals and eat food, which was great. But I knew I was different from others. Not only with my horrible brain but...In other things.

I didn't have friends in kindergarten...Or first grade....And I was homeschooled in second grade. I am also a orphan. I hear them say my parents were psycho. I heard that she is in a mental hospital. But I don't know where my dad is. It was probably a one night stand....Ugh, men.

I was kinda anti-social. People thought I was weird for drawing things...That at a young age, no one would draw. When the girls are drawing princesses and princes and the boys are drawing monster trucks.

....I would be drawing clowns, monsters, dead people, trying to make them look disfigured and gory. I was an off child, and I ain't the only one that noticed. People who worked at the academy noticed. I was still nice, but I was mostly quiet. They would try and help me.  I was the devil's child they would say.

....some thought I had to be cured, and being bisexual didn't help. The girls stayed away from me and so did the boys. I was fine being alone, I was always alone. But sometimes I hated it, but then I get use to it again.

If I tried to talk to boys and girls, I would get put in a room. I wish I could be a magician....Like my father.

But in those sad, sad times. I would stay up and look out the window when it was night. Looking in the stars always made me feel better. Because they were free, they have no worries....But they will eventually fall. They will disappear. This was the only place I felt happy.

.....But one night, as I read with nothing but a flashlight. A boy appeared in my window. He told me to be quiet as he opened the window and slipped in. I did, I didn't scream, I wasn't terrified....I just stared. He had on a mask, and hoodie with skinny jeans. "Who are you? I asked. I could see his eyes light up with laughter.

"I'm Toby, would you l-like to come with me on a a-adventure? He stutters. "To where? "The woods" he answers. "I like the woods" I giggled, and I agreed to go with.

So we went off in the woods. It was very tall and thick and misty. I felt like I was seeing multiple people staring down at me. I felt like I was in some horror movie.  Toby gripped my hand to lead me to where ever we were going. After awhile, we arrived at a house. It looked expensive. Why was a house out here in the woods? It looked old.

Toby lead me inside. It was like an old haunted house. "Wow" it was bigger then the academy. Toby chuckled and looked down at me. "I would like you to meet friends" I smiled and looked up to him. "I would like that"

We were friends. He would visit me frequently. We would go out or play games. He even celebrated my birthday. Soon. a year past. I was seven by the time. I was playing with a stuffed animal Toby gave me for my birthday.  Then Toby climbed in from the window. "Toby! I squeak in excitement. I give him a hug and stare up at him smiling.

"Hey w-wanna do something f-fun? He asked. I give an excited nod. "Good come on" he takes my hand and help me out the window. But this time we weren't going to the woods like we usually do to play. This time we were walking down the streets. "Where are we going? I asked. "D-don't worry, just follow me"

It seemed off. But only being a child, I do what all little children do. Trust people ...No matter what. We came to a house. I looked up to him in question. "Don't worry, it will be fun. I promise" he reassures.  I nod, telling him I understand.

We climb into the window of a room. The smell of alcohol roams the air. Bottles were scattered around the room. Ciggerittes  were left on the ground. He slowly opens the door and we go down stairs. I could hear the noises of the TV on. Toby turns to me and puts his fingers to his lips.

I turn back and start walking down the stairs. Toby holds his hand out in front of me. He puts his hand in front of me as he walks backwards. I nod and he turns around. He tip toes up to a man sitting on a lazy boy. I just watch, I don't know what he was doing. I was a child. I look down, he had a hatchet in his hand. Dry blood stained on the blade.

I gasp in shock. he must of heard because the man stood up. "What the hell! He shouts. He pushes Toby away and grabs a beer bottle. He smashed the bottle and point it at Toby. "Who the hell are you!? I panic, I scream and throw a bottle at the drunken man. "Get away from him! I scream. The man turns his attention to me.

He stomps over to me, grabbing my arm and throwing me aside. I flew into the wall. The man stands in front of me. I didn't know if he was gonna beat me, or kill me. He didn't get the chance anyway, Toby swung his hatchet in the man's back. He grunts in pain and falls to his knees. Toby swings over and over again, blood stains the wall, stains his clothes, stains his mask. It stains me.

He breathes heavily, as he took the last swing. I look and the corpse, still on the ground. My widen eyes look at the corpse and Toby. I was petrified, all I could do was whimper. Toby turned to me. "It's ok" he picks me up bridle style. "It's gonna be OK" he whispers. I just put my face in his chest, I was a little scared and confused. My knees were all wobbly, my heart was beating rapidly. I knew we did something bad...

We return to my room. "S-see I told you it would be fun, and w-we can do it again! I face Toby with tears in my eyes. "D-don't cry" he says. "I think we can't be friends anymore" I say weakly. "W-why? He asks. "We did something bad...Didn't we? I ask. Toby kneels down and tries to grab my hand. But I pull my hand away. "w-we didn't do anything wrong OK?

"I can't see you again" I sob. He was my best friend, my only friend. But I had to let him go, I was afraid I would get in trouble. Toby's eyes frown.  He stood up and looked down at me. " I will s-see you again" he whispered. I nodded​ and wipe the tears from my eyes. He climbed out the window and headed in the woods. I never saw him come back.

I would try to find the mansion, I would try to find his friends. But I would find nothing. I would cry and cry, regretting that I let my only friend leave me. Alone. But after a couple of years I forgot about him. I forgot about my friend.