Heart's Enslaver |✔

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oh amber, how i yearned for your presence, your laughter - everything about you.

but now I can only sit here with a white and single lily in my hand.

memories of you and i flood my mind as I recalled how happy we used to be as a couple.

but all of that was taken away.

your death was brutal, a way that no human should ever die in.

tears began streaming down and i wiped them off with the sleeves of my black jacket.

i placed the white lily on your grave before standing up to leave and headed to my car.

i started the car up as i leaned my head against the seat, closing my eyes and let those tears fall.

cried till i felt asleep.

and then i saw you, smiling, looking so breathtaking in your white gown.

"amb-amber..." my voice trailed off as tears pooled at the corner of my eyes, threatening to fall.

you step forward and wipe those tears and met my eyes.

you whispered in my ear, " i'm sorry joe. I couldn't stay for i was chosen."

you take a step forward with a weak smile plastered on your face as you slowly turned to ashes and get blown away.

"no! no!" i yelped as i tried to reach out for you but i was too late for you had gone away.

i closed my eyes and opened them once more to be greeted by the real world.

i punched the steering wheel of our brown mini cooper in frustration.

"aaarghhhhhh." i screamed till i was satisfied.

i slowly sink and slumped against the seat.

regret filled my heart because i once had an actual chance to save you.

you however went back to God before i could even sent you to hospital.

i could have died with you in the car crash.

i could have been with you.

if not for my recklessness i wonder, would you be here?

would you be here to share our happy moments together during our honey moon?

would you be here to share the happiness upon delivery of our child if we had one?

questions that will forever be unanswered.

and it hurts.

it hurts to know i could save you.

it hurts.