Haunted by Love

Chapter 6: Bodmin

The drive to Bodmin gives us time to just chat and get to know each other: she shares details of her past career in the City, her growing frustration and disillusionment with her work and how finding the farm seemed to offer the chance to reinvent herself. I tell her of life at the BBC, the way it lacks the glamour that people assume it must have, the frustrations of my seemingly stalled career and, to my amazement, even how I came to be sleeping with Rick.

"So, do you love him?" she asks. It is a disconcertingly direct question and one that I have been reluctant to put to myself. It makes me think.

"I... I certainly like him. I mean he's good company and... well he's good in other areas too." I pray that she doesn't ask me to explain that as I feel my cheeks ignite.

"Okay, so he's good in bed and good company when you go out," she says, smiling at my discomfort. "However, the other important question is: does he love you?"

"He cares about me; he was very worried when I told him about getting lost on the Moor and very insistent that I should take more care of myself." Though he didn't say he loved me, even after I said I did to him, a treacherous thought reminds me, and even his concern had felt rather domineering. "We've only been out a couple of times so it's still early days..." I finish rather lamely and then curse myself: I've just admitted that I've slept with Rick each time we've gone out. I glance at Ruth, hoping she doesn't think me a complete slut, though I couldn't really blame her if she did. "What about you? Is there any boyfriend or significant other in your life?" I ask, deciding that we've discussed my love life quite enough.

"No, not at the moment," she admits. "I guess I don't fall for someone easily but when I did I fell hard but it didn't work out. I'm sure there's the perfect someone for me somewhere and that somehow we'll find each other. Until then I'm going to see where life takes me."

"Like going to Bodmin with the mad woman who banged, half dead, on your door in the middle of the night?"

"Yeah, why not? Turn right up ahead there," she says and points.

Bodmin is unexpected: an odd mixture of old and new with old stone buildings and modern shopfronts. Still, this does mean that there is the very modern mobile phone shop that has all the latest models. Unfortunately it also has, as Ruth observes, "The usual patronising, smarmy gits as sales assistants!" I have to agree because, although I might not be the most tech-savvy woman in the world, I'm not a simpleton either; I have a pretty good idea what I want, which isn't a phone that has a tiny screen, small memory and indifferent camera just because it's available in pink!

"Look, I had the C4 model, which I really liked, but I know there's now the C5 and the larger C6 so if you could just show me those and let me know the price and plans available, please," I say as I realize that if I let this guy keep making suggestions we'll be here all day. Ruth gives a little nod of approval as he leads the way. "Oh, and I'll need my old number transferred to the new phone please."

There is some trial and error – the C6 is very large and feels rather like holding a paperback book to my ear but the screen is amazing and Rick did say I could charge it to expenses– and rather more internal debating over the very large price and whether I should change my contract but forty-five minutes later we are walking out of the shop.

"Sorry that took so long," I apologise to Ruth.

"You looked so set on that big phone and the assistant looked so annoyed when you changed your mind at the last minute."

"I didn't mean to mess him around but the big model was just a silly price really. Anyway, he should have told me at the start that the C5 is waterproof. I'm glad I noticed that after what happened to my old phone." I hesitate when I see Ruth's expression. "Being waterproof wouldn't actually have helped my old phone would it?"