Changing For the Better(On Hold)

My New Addition

Ben has been driving for hours, obviously trying to put distance between me and everything I have grown to love, even if I didn't realize it until today. I stare at the snake tattoo I have, that no one knows about. I got it recently, but everyone was so caught up in Ashley's problems that they never did notice. They never do notice. The tattoo is of a snake wrapping loosly all the way up my arm. I remember the day I got it, I remember just being so angry. So much, that I stormed out of school, which is pretty bad considering I'm a "nerd" in everyone else's eyes. Ashley this, Ashley that, no one knows that I'm the reasons she still alive? No. Of coarse not. Why would she tell anyone her weak, nerdy, shy, younger sister kept away all of those bad guys? I walked around the town that day not thinking about what Iwas doing, but feeling self pity and anger. This is the way it always starts. You know, my depression. It always starts with Ashley. My perfect sister, the favorite, teacher pet, whore, suck up, the girl who got all of the guys. And don't forget, my parents all time favorite daughter. "Kayla, why can't you be more like your sister?" Do you know how many times I had heard that line before? A lot, trust me. I remember never even being there. They all just ignored me. If anything, on best days, I was her shadow. Yes, I know terrible. It felt like I had been walking for ten minutes that day, but I obviously wasn't in my town anymore. There were more people around there, all of them looked at me funny because I was new and didn't quite belong. I saw a tattoo shop and, not wuite knowing what to do, made my way in there. I put twenty dollars on the front desk and told the man there to just give me anything. I think he noticed I was just there for the pain, but he didn't say anything as I made my way to the back room. I had never been here before and didn't stop to think if anyone could've been in there, which is totally not me. Thankfully no one was in there and I didn't have to go through that akward situation. I sat down and he started to go to work. I sat there for hours just thinking over all that has been happening in my life. How I always saved the day for my sister, how one person changed our lives for the worst. I think about half way through I realized that twenty dollars wouldn't buy you a good tattoo, but I didn't dwell on it for too long since I wouldn't be able to just stop now. When he was done, I looked at it expected something cheap looking, considering the money I had given him earlier. What I saw ,though, was absolutly breathe taking. The blue-green snake wrapped all the way up my arm. The head on my wrist and the tail going all the way up to the back of my shoulder. The thing that was the most beautiful were its eyes. It was a bright golden color. He told me that day that snakes represent change, and that whatever I'm going through right now was obviously changing me. He said that I would eventually have to decide if its for the better or worse. Everytime I look at it, I remember I decide. I'm the one to say if it's good or bad. Right now, in this car, seeing as I just sacrificed my entire life to a person I was sure I hated. I think I changed for the good.