8. Austin - Arizona

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Chapter Eight

Austin - New Mexico - Arizona


"I have seen God and he is this girl." What's Eating Gilbert Grape - Ellis


El Paso, Tx, 8.30pm - August 14th

Ellis

Jessie is in a mood with me. It's obvious.

She's been all too happy to share her nachos and her dip. Earlier, back in Austin she even let me have a lick of her frozen yogurt from Amy's. 

Jessie also didn't complain when I turned her playlist off to put on the radio for a change. She didn't throw her toys out the pram or give me the death stare either when it became obvious that she would have to drive us to the border before New Mexico due to my stinking hangover, in a rental car we picked up at 9am from a dodgy forecourt. 

It's the first time she's ever driven an automatic and on the wrong side of the road and she didn't say a word against it. Nothing. 

Something is wrong. Terribly wrong. There's no way Jessie is naturally being this nice and agreeable. Especially not after my show last night, stumbling into the cottage, my head wrecked by strong weed and stronger spirits - whiskey, rum, who knows what else. I don't remember how. Faces and places are a blur. 

I think someone did a keg stand, just like in the movies but maybe I imagined it all. All I do know is that when I woke up this morning I was tucked up on the sofa, t-shirt and shoes off, with a freshly brewed coffee on the table and all my bags packed. 

And a weirdly, familiar taste on my lips. Fruity, almost. 

Jessie even said, "Good morning handsome", as if I didn't look like a bloated piece of shit or smell like one. 

And now, here, eight hours later in El Paso after a long journey, she's still smiling. It might be for the fact she's got a plate as big as her head full of nachos and melted cheese in front of her or because she went through two bags of gummy worms and a few packets of Fun Dip on the way over, but whatever it is, it's not right. 

It's unnerving. 

I can't help but theorise what I've done wrong. Because this is exactly how she was the day after Stella broke up with me at College and I cried like a drunk baby.

The same as the after day we first started High School and I told her that there was a pretty girl sat behind me in English, which made me excited for the new school year ahead. 

Jessie was and still is my best friend. I've pretty much told her everything, no filter but, just maybe not the right things, all of the time. 

And the two big no no's swimming round my head right now mean I can't tell her about waiting on my university acceptance for fear of ruining our road trip and I cant explain that when I tell her she's beautiful it's not to earn brownie points, or to make her feel better. It's the truth

"So, you okay?" I ask, pushing a half eaten taco round my plate as we continue to sit and rest at Carson's Cantina in the middle of El Paso. 

Her eyebrows raise slightly but she nods her head. "Yeah."

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