I crazy kinda life

earlier life

From the age of 3 I've been dancing. Dance is my entire life and it makes things seem okay when nothing seems to be going right. I met most of my friends through dance like James . I was raised in a catholic family making my views catholic until I decide that those views weren't what I thought.

I grow up with 3 older brothers and an older sister. Both William and Charlotte danced. As I was raised with mainly boys I grow up to be a tomboy . I went to a small primary school in North East England. Everything seemed to be okay until the age of 8 where my life went down hill. My brother died, I never cried do hard in my life. 6 month later my grandad died I started to feel my life breaking down. When I was ten my dad had a stroke and my mum tried to hide the fact his life was in danger from me. I felt my younger years tearing apart. When I turned 11 my dad had a heart attack I got pulled of school because they where pretty sure he was going to die , he didn't. Everything seemed to be okay finally making me look feel better again.

When I got to secondary school I made a few friends and enemy's. My friends at school made me feel so confident when around them, I never felt nice or pretty but with them it didn't matter I was happy. In year 10 on your March my best friend Alice committed suicide. I broke down in maths but my teacher thought it was because of him. I hated my life and started self harming. I felt like I was in a ball floating on water. It was okay then it would drop into the water, the more I tried to get it to the top the more in sank. I was drowning in my suicidal thoughts and there was no way out. Not even my friends made even my friends made me feel okay. There was no where to turn. My parents thought my life was jolly and I faked a smile for 6 months.

Finally I got my shit together and I started to get better. The ball started to rise I could finally breath. I felt okay I still feel okay.