Knowing the rules and following them are two completely different things. Take rule 2 for example. I know that I belong to those in charge, but do I want to follow that and be at their every beck and call? Oh Hell No! I was going to be my own person alive or not.
Speaking of which, you guys don't know why I jumped in the first place. Well, here comes my life story. Are you prepared because I'm not.
I was just your average teenager. Pheromone changes and that whole bit, but I felt like I was different. Like there was something wrong with me and no matter what I did nothing got better only worse.
My mother was constantly telling me about the things that I have done wrong, and what I can do to fix those problems, but every time that I fix one thing there was always another that I needed to change.
I was never good enough for my mother and don't even started on my good for nothing father. He was as bad as they could come. He beat and abused my mother and I nearly killing both of us. There are people that believe that if family members have gone through, or went through the abuse, that the people will become closer to each other as a safety plan, but that is not what happened with my mother and I. Through my eyes it seems like the more I try to work through my problems, the farther away our relationship got. Now don't get me wrong, I wanted our relationship to get better before I jumped, but things just didn't work out that way.
The night that I died we had gotten into a big fight about why I had done something wrong, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I decided right then and there that I was going to try to end my life, and as you know I succeeded in that effort.
There are times even today in my never ending life of Klyritian that I wish that I could go back and make my mother proud of me once again, and see a smile on her face when she sees me in a good light for once, and when we both can be happy.
That is what I long for, and it is a wish that I will never get.
