Sweet November

Cold

And to think that what had happened to me was my fault? He must not have realized what kind of woman I really am huh? Broken hearted for 2 years, 2 years of my life in which I really could have been doing something productive,but instead chasing after a nigga with no bread. To be honest you're not even worth it, and when you call my phone asking to take me back you will get declined. I was something to you,that I really didn't have myself. Solana, last name Rowe ; is what they call me. I'd rather be alone but it would be nice to have someone who really did care instead of trying to condone me with sex. Them three letters been having people on some type of trip, I'm not really into it like people think I am. Why do you test me , As if I am not able to be tested? 

I walked into my house and seen my Mom sitting on the couch on her phone scrolling. For some reason when I gave her the key she thinks she can just come and go when she pleases. WRONG! It was for emergencies ONLY. "Mom, What are you doing here? I thought you had to work today?" I said taking off my jean jacket,and putting my purse on the couch across from my Mom. "Honey, I come and go when I please."She said smiling like something was funny. "Dude. This isn't your damn house!" I said laughing as I said that and walked to the kitchen. "Girl,Who pay the bills?"She said laughing like she was a damn skipping CD. "I DO!" I said looking at her like she was crazy. She must forget that I don't live with her anymore. I went inside of my refrigerator and grabbed some leftover Chicken and salad from Denver's and heated up my chicken. I seen my Mom walking over to me and I looked over at her and she just hugged me. "I am so sorry honey."She said crying, I rubbed her back and trying calming her down as we pull away from the hug. "Mom,What's the matter?"I asked wiping her tears. "I can't. I can't tell you yet Solana.."She said looking away. "Okay. Well,Mom you have got to leave pretty soon I have a friend of mine coming over."I said taking a bite of my salad, and walking over to my couch. "Okay,Honey."She said grabbing her things and walked over to me and hugged me one more time."Bye,Mom. I'll see you later."I said waving at her as she left and closed my front door. I locked it and I sat on my couch and scrolled on Twitter. "Let me text Lisha real quick."I mumbled to myself as I went to my messaging app. I texted her and asked her what happened to coming over and she responded quickly and stated that she was still on her way and that she was bringing her boyfriend Joshua,and his best friend Derrick. I realized I was still in my work clothes and got my food placing it back into the fridge and walking upstairs into my bedroom. I took off my clothes and began to pick out something. Grabbing my tight fitted ripped jeans and my white v-neck. And did my hair up into a ponytail, And got dressed. I grabbed my phone and went back downstairs , then the doorbell rings.I walked over to my front door and answered it. "Wassup Hoe?"She said hugging me and walking in,with Joshua and his best friend Derrick. "Nothing.. Just got done eating."I said walking over to my couch sitting down. "Damn,Lana.. We not speaking today?"Joshua said as I looked at him with evil eyes, He always trying to play my damn best friend like I don't notice the shit. "Hi, The fuck? Josh to be honest you're not that important to me."I said looking at him with this ugly face, and rolling my eyes. His friend Derrick just sat there listening and I can't lie he real fine though. "Damn.. The hell did I do?" He said standing up with his hands open. "You know.." I said. "Damn! Can you niggas quit arguing?" Lisha said laughing a little. "My bad! So, Joshua who your little friend?"I said smiling lightly, and looked at him up and down. "His name Derrick. Quit looking at my Bro like that, He's not a piece of damn meat!" Joshua said all loud and being extra. "Sit the hell down Josh,Damn!"Lisha yelled, I giggled and Derrick kept looking at me. "Yes, Derrick ?"I said waiting on him to say something because He just kept looking. "Yeah. My bad,You're just really beautiful to me."He said making Joshua look at him like he was crazy. This nigga finna get put the hell out. "Thank You, Want something to drink?"I said standing up and going to the kitchen. "Yes,I would."He said following me. "I feel like I know you."I said putting my hand on my chin. "You probably do."He said smiling. Damn,He cute as shit. "But,From where though?"I said going to the top of my refrigerator and grabbing my red wine and pouring him a glass. "Thanks, and I don't even know.."He said drinking the wine and I watched him choke on it laughing. "Its strong as hell.. You're not supposed to drink it so fast?" I said as I peeked into my living room seeing that Lisha and Josh was sleep. "So,Tell me about yourself."He said smiling taking a small sip from the glass. I just looked at him, and I got caught up in his eyes. I wanted him to know the truth, I wanted him to know how I really felt. So, I told him straight up. "The truth is Derrick I wouldn't give you the time of day, no matter how fine you are. . Because,You are not what I'm looking for in a man. Because, For me being a and 25 years old. I'm entirely too old for people trying to break my heart." I said taking out my phone from my pocket, getting on Snapchat. "You're not what I expected."He said leaving the area he was in and walking away. Honestly, I just didn't want him to be close to me. He just seemed like he was a snake. I don't do snakes. I peeped my head back into the living room seeing Lisha still sleep, and Joshua gone to the bathroom. (I heard the toilet flush). I had looked over at Derrick and there he was attempting to fall asleep on my couch. Hell to the nah! I calmly walked over to him and smacked him in his face. "Time to wake up,Nigga."I said laughing and walking away. I looked back at him seeing that he was gone. "So, You must not understand how this shit works huh? You will be mines."He said as he pinned me up against the wall, then kissed my cheek. "Get the hell off me."I said clearly irritated as he let me go, then laughing afterwards. Today will be a long ass day. 

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     Thanks for reading! The girl that you see in the cover photo and up in the media is indeed Solana Rowe aka SZA. Give me feedback, and if you have any ideas hit me up and let me know. When this computer isn't acting stupid then I will show you guys from here.