Songbird

Don't Let Me

Sticky and sweaty, his arm was draped across my shoulders. I tried to ignore his clammy hands and keep my face neutral as he sang to me, barely inches from my face. Why did he have to eat that chicken samosa back at the cafe? Gosh, his breath was awful! It was really quite uncomfortable to be standing so intimately with him, and not just because of his bad breath. Even though I'd spent the last 2 months pratically raping the replay buttons to all of his youtube videos, and even though I knew the exact sound of his voice, the placement of nearly every freckle on his face and all the little nervous things he'd do when he was videoing himself singing, it still felt incredibly weird to have someone who was essentially a stranger standing so close to me. And I know so many of his fans would kill to be in such a girlfriend/boyfriend pose with him, but I wasn't that kind of girl. I even think he was feeling a bit awkward too. 

A few steps away from us I heard Marty sigh from behind the video camera. 

"Let's take a five minute break, guys." He called over to us. Owen and I quickly untangled ourselves and pulled apart. The back of my neck felt cold and damp, free to breathe the air after being suffocated under Owen's arm.

Owen trudged over to Marty, neither of them with a trace of a smile on their face. 

"This isn't working," I overheard Marty quietly muttering to his brother. It's not my fault, I wanted to scream at them. They had told me to look impassive, as if I didn't notice Owen singing right up into my personal space. I was still dressed in the light blue jeans and loose singlet that I'd arrived in (the late-morning heat had caused me to ditch the cardy) and Owen and Marty had labelled this as my 'happy' outfit. However, neither the vibe that me nor Owen was giving off could be described as 'happy'. 

"You know," said a quiet female voice behind me, soft enough as to be out of range of Owen and Marty. I turned around to face Piata. "It was Marty that finally managed to convince Owen to upload those videos on youtube. At first I thought Owen just did it to please Marty and get him off his back," I stared at Piata, wondering where this conversation was heading. "But then when I finally watched his first video, I saw how much he really enjoyed it. He's just a bit shy, our Owen." I nodded, understanding. Although Owen let down his barriers when talking about what he was really passionate about- music, I was under the impression that Marty had the role of the confident, bolder big brother. Piata continued, "Like now, he's really excited to film this video with a fan, it was his idea right from the beginning, and although he's got all these brilliant ideas for how he wants it turn out, he's just not sure what he needs to do to get it there. Sometimes he just needs someone else to make the first move". I wasn't really sure what to say to that, Piata had just told me a lot of really personal and deep stuff about Owen. I could see now that Owen was a bit reluctant to step out of his comfort zone and that it would be up to me to try and dissolve the awkard tension between us. A fragment of an idea was starting to form somewhere in the murky depths of my brain. However, firstly, there were something that needed taking care of.

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out a small container of mints. Chucking the mints to Owen I quickly shouted,

"Think fast!" With quick reflexes and the skill of someone who probably played sport in high school, he caught the mints before looking up at me quizzically. With a wry smile I said, "Nice samosa, huh?" in a joking and friendly manner. Come on, Jenna. Fake it 'till you make it. I thought that, just maybe, if I pretended like we were friends, he would loosen up a little and we could actually make a decent music video. He looked down at his shoes, an embarassed blush flushing his cheeks. Good one, Jen. "So," I said, walking over to Owen with what I hoped was a cheeky twinkle in my eye, "how good are you at giving piggybacks?". Marty gave Owen a 'what-the-hell?!' look. I resisted the urge to turn back to Piata and check with her that I was doing the right thing, but I didn't want to look like I had any doubts.