Introduction
Niall's POV-
"You don't deserve to live."
"Why don't you do us all a favor and disappear?"
"Can't you leave us alone? No one wants you here."
"You should just die, nobody would even care."
I pressed my hands to my ears, clenching my eyes shut. I wished my mind would shut up so I could get some sleep.
I turned over in bed, tears pricking my eyes. Why couldn't I be normal? Maybe then people would like me.
But I would never be normal. You see, there's something wrong with me that you can't just change. It's something that will haunt me for life. It will cause people to judge me and hate me everywhere I go, and I just can't fix it.
I'm gay.
I subconciously ran my fingers over the scars on my wrist, some new and some old. I know, I know. Self harm is bad. But I can't help it, and it gives me some sort of pain relief.
How does that work? Pain relieves pain.
I sighed, rolling out of bed and walking into my bathroom. I flicked the lights on and gazed into the mirror, looking at my terrible reflection.
First, my face. Pale skin. Slight acne. Crooked teeth. Dull, blonde hair with brunette roots just barely showing. And then, my body. I was to short, and I had a bit of flab. Only a little muscle. Still pale.
Disgusting.
No wonder nobody liked me. There was nothing there to like. I was just me. Ugly, gay Niall.
I sighed, sliding down to the floor. I stared down at the scars on my arm, etched permanently in my already ugly skin.
I itched to pull out my razor, but something inside of me snapped. I wasn't going to touch that again. Never, ever again.
I was going to take a stand against this terror that had overwhelmed my life for to long. I was going to do something about the nagging pain I felt each and every day. I was going to win against my bullies.
So, I spent that entire night thinking up a plan that would hopefully change my life for the better.
Which is how I ended up on a plane to London, England, leaving my hometown of Mullingar, Ireland far behind.
