You Go Down Smooth

What Is Love?

Just an FYI: the word 'dyke' is used in this chapter. It is not, however, used in a derogatory way. I understand some people do not like it being used either way, and for that I apologize.

The story is coming to an end just two chapters left... But there's also a sequel so if you want me to convert the other part of the story just comment and let me know.

She cries from the minute she sends the text all the way to I-75 and then halfway home. She isn't sobbing - it's not the kind of 'ugly cry' she'd done while hiding her face in Y/n's shirt - it's more a steady stream of tears falling down her cheeks as she stares out the window with her earbuds in. Lauren and her partners don't bother her. They don't ask questions, or try to cheer her up. For the most part, they don't even really look at her. They can tell she's trying to cope. The most they say is 'Want the aux chord?', but it's really just a formality because they know she doesn't care right now.What she needs is her bed, a bottle of wine, and some old black and white movies to drown her sorrows in.

No, what I need is her.

They'd found a shorter route to take home and but, inevitably, had to stop at a 7-Eleven because Chris has a bladder the size of a peanut and he can't seem to hold it for the two and a half hour trip. Dinah exiles Jasmine to Camila's jeep and pulls Normani into the backseat of the Tahoe with her while Gina and Lucy raid the store for anything sour.

"How you holding up, Mani?" the tone she uses is different from her usual carefree, no-holds-barred tone, and the brown girl is grateful in some ways. But in others, it only makes the pain worse - makes the heartache that much more real.

"It's hurts so fucking bad, D-" she cries out, falling forward and feeling like she's going to vomit.Normani doesn't have to speak anymore, because the girl pulls her into a hug like no other, rubbing her back and whispering consolations against her earbud. She falls asleep laying on her side along the seat with her head in her roommate's lap, but even then the tears still come. Happy tears from dreams filled with images of her time with Y/n and sad tears from thoughts of how long it will be before she gets to hold her hand again.

The sex was great - better than what she'd pieced together in her dreams - but it was really just the moments spent lying in bed or on the couch, the moments where they showered together and laughed about getting soap in each other's eyes, the moments where Normani would catch Y/n just looking at her. It was those moments that she missed the most. It was the big moments like the first time they made love, or the moment they said I love you. Hell, it was the moment Y/n had met her mother and how even her mom had acknowledged the treasure that this girl truly was. But it was all those little moments, too. The last piece of bacon that Y/n left on her plate for the brown girl to steal, the glass of water and pain medicine waiting for her after she'd had too much to drink the night before, the times she'd felt Y/n's hands brush her hair out of her face when she thought she was sleeping and didn't know. It was how peaceful and yet totally alight she felt with her - the same way the brunette had described her feelings. Normani hadn't told her then, but she felt the same way.

It shouldn't hurt this bad, should it? None of it should feel like this. We just met! I felt her for the first time less than a week ago, so how is it possible for me to ache like this for her?? How can my body crave hers after only 6 days?

***

12:20pm - Dr. Hamilton: I received the package just in time and everything is in place. I'm sure she will love it.

12:21pm - Y/n: Thank you, Andrea. I really appreciate your help. And thank you, also, for not hanging up on me the other morning. I'm glad we had a chance to talk.