On the one year anniversary of losing one of my closest friends, this is my way of honoring his memory. His passing will always be felt, but the memories of him will be in my heart and mind for the rest of my time. He was a good friend, someone that...
[A/N: This is going to be formatted as a note to a good friend of mine who had unfortunately passed last year and who I miss more than I could ever put into words. He was like a brother to me and was one of the few people who picked me back up after my own life had knocked me down (so to speak) This is my way to keep moving forward as he would want me to, even if I have days where I don't feel like it.]
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
It's been a year ago today, so long since you left. I still miss you, I still have days where I get on Facebook to message you, until I realize you're not there to read it. The night you left, I had a dream about you; it was so strange.
A dark stretch of road. Where am I? I see the flashing lights in the night. I'm blinded by white and when I can see again we're back in the hallway of our high school, I'm wearing the shirt you gave me. I tell you that I felt so lucky to have known you, I loved you like a brother. I tell you how much I'll miss you, you put a hand on my shoulder and tell me to be strong. You go down the hallway into the white void and when I try to follow you, you stop me, hands on my shoulders, you look me in the eye and you say "you can't come, they don't want you yet." You turn me around and draw my attention to our friends "you have to stay with them" you point to the one person in our group I'm closest to "he needs you just like you need him, go back." You push me a few inches before you go back to that bright white nothing. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ All I can say is that I miss you, even a year later I still think about you, especially when I listen to Andy Biersack's song Beautiful Pain. The lyrics remind me that we lost you way too soon but you're in a better place now. I never told you just what it meant to me that you were among my friends, you were there for me when I was at my lowest and I'll be forever grateful for that. There are so many of us who miss you everyday, we wish we could've had you with us longer than we did, but you had to go and we miss you.
There are some days where I still cry, missing you more than I could ever express. As everything around me changes and the days go on, I can't help but think Oh man, I gotta tell him about this, he'd love it! But then I remember you aren't here and I can feel an all too familiar pain that comes from the fact I can't tell you about something I'm sure you'd be interested in.... ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ I found the shirt you gave me our junior year back in January and wouldn't you believe it; I didn't cry for the first time since I'd lost you, but I felt like I would break down at any second. I must admit that writing this brought up all those great memories and I missed you all over again! Oh, like that time in our Science class when you were being the asshat you usually could be, you took one of my books and I got irritated trying to get it back. So our teacher had said I know this girl. Better knock it off before I let her put the fear of God in you. I'll turn my back so that if a principal walks in; I can say I didn't see anything. My god, that sure made you think twice! I got my book back and you looked freaked out! ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ There are days when I think of you and I smile, remembering how crazy you were, but there are days where all I wanna do is break down and ask every deity that might exist why you had to leave. But I know one day we'll meet again and I while I wait for it, I'll carry on how you'd want me to; continuing to raise hell and cause all manner of trouble for those around, just like you would've. (Keeping it legal of course.)I know you're aware of how much all your loved ones miss you. I'm sure that if someone were to make a list of all the people who knew you and of all the cherished memories of how you brought smiles to us all, it'd stretch for miles! There's so much I wish I could have a chance to tell you in person, just one day with you, an hour, hell even just five minuets and one more memory of your crazy antics would be enough. I still can't believe it's been a year already because it doesn't feel like it, feels more like it all happened yesterday, but I know it wasn't yesterday because if it were; I'd be an emotional mess, nothing more than a sobbing ball curled up in my bed, clutching the shirt you gave me while wishing it was just a bad dream that I'll wake up from at any moment. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ I've said my good bye for the time being, I know we'll meet again some day, I have faith in that, not some day soon though. I bet that sounds good to you, that I'm not doing anything too stupid or reckless in your absence. Rest in peace my dear friend, until we can meet again in the next life. ♡
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
