Keep Me in Your Thoughts

Prologue

There are so many things I can no longer look at.

There are songs that I can no longer listen to.

There are words that I can no longer say.

Everything is different and left forever changed all because of you.

I can't help but think of all the memories that are connected to them. The day we first embraced, the bus ride where you stole my first kiss, all the daily phone calls and text messages... Even the rain which I loved so much does not give me comfort anymore.

It's been two months since you've left. I still can remember the exact words you said to me, echoing in my head, repeating over and over like a song on loop.

I didn't expect everything to end the way it did. Seven months into the relationship and I believed that everything was fine. But in reality, what seemed to be a perfect dream ended in a complete tragedy. The love we had just disappeared one day... all was lost.

I remember it so clearly, that day it all fell apart. I was alone in my room, sitting criss crossed on the floor, blasting Oasis on the computer as I wrote in my journal. I was working so diligently until the sound of a notification went off from my phone.

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July 26 5:15p.m.

From: Lance

To: Ari

I'm so sorry... I really am. I'm breaking up with you. I didn't want things to be like this but it did. We both just have to move on.

Delivered: 5:15p.m.

Read: 5:17p.m.✓

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5:17p.m.

To: Lance

From: Ari

I don't understand. Just three days ago we were enjoying each other's company at Daniela's party. Then on Sunday we even went to the park together... Why is everything coming to this? Don't do this to me. We can fix things from here.

Delivered: 5:17p.m.

Read: 5:18p.m.✓

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5:24p.m.

From: Lance

To: Ari

It's not your fault, Ari. It's not yours, it's mine. I'm sorry for all the times I made you worry. You are a perfect girl to me, I can promise you that. I was changing and I wished I found a way to stop. I wanted us to continue to be together but it just didn't work out. Let's learn from this, for it may help in the future. We can still be friends if you're fine with that... 

Delivered: 5:24p.m.

Read: 5:26p.m.✓

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I couldn't believe it, everything had hit me then and there. My whole world froze into place and shattered into a million pieces. My first love, my one and only left me...

I dropped all the things I had in my hands and pulled my knees up to my chest as several tears trickled down my face. Rain poured tremendously outside and I despised it. It seemed as though Mother Nature decided to let the droplets fall to the earth as a sign of pity for me, silently naming me as weak. Foolish. 

From that moment on, I have lost contact with the feeling called "love". I find myself unable to love another. I'm unsure of myself and do not know how to regain that friendship we once had. Maybe I have another chance. All I can do is pray and hope that you keep me in your thoughts.