Before I Leave

What I've Been Hiding

Maya did not understand how she could be so excited and so terrified all at once. They leave in the morning... on an plane... to fly across the ocean. She had never been on an airplane and was imagining the worse possible scenarios. The singular time she ventured out of the state she had taken a train.

Shawn had arranged a family vacation to surprise Maya. They had a culture week in school a few months prior, and she absolutely loved learning about her Irish heritage. He thought a trip to Europe over Spring Break with her mother and him would be a great idea. At first she had been upset that Riley wasn't going with them, but it would be nice to do some family bonding with her mom and new dad.

"What if death messes with the gas line and it explodes? What if we are overrun with snakes? What if we go down over a deserted island and I have to run from black fog and polar bears?"

Riley watched Maya ramble with wide eyes as they sat side by side at the Bay Window. "I need to start approving your viewing habits, Peaches."

"I'm scared, Riles."

"Maya, it's just a plane! You're more likely to die by jaywalking, which you do way too often I might add."

"I've never been on a airplane before, Riles. I'm freaking out. What if something happens?" Maya knew she was being irrational, but she had never been on a flight before and knew if anyone could talk her down it was Riley.

"Nothing is going to happen, Peaches." Riley put her hand on Maya's shoulder.

"But what if it does?" Her voice sounded so small.

"It won't," Riley encouraged. "I promise."

"Riley, if it does though..." Maya knew she had to say something. She had been keeping this secret for so long, but if something did happen Riley deserved to know.

"You'll be fine!" Riley insisted, a little too loudly.

Maya took a deep breath, "Let me finish, this is hard enough."

"Maya?"

"If something happens I need you to know something, something I've been hiding from you."

Riley was taken back. She removed her hand from Maya's shoulder and straightened her posture, clearly upset. "We promised to never keep anything from each other!"

"I couldn't tell you this, Riley. I tried to so many times," Maya could feel herself starting to cry. She fought the urge, knowing if she started she wouldn't be able to stop.

"So tell me now," Riley was adamant.

"I love you," Maya looked down at her lap, avoiding Riley's gaze.

"I love you too, Peaches. That's never been a secret."

"I... I'm in love with you."

Riley's mouth dropped and stared at Maya.

"I'm s-sorry. I should go," Tears started to fall freely from Maya's eyes. "Y-you just needed to know. I couldn't le-leave without you knowing. B-bye, Riles," Maya climbed out the window into the night, leaving Riley staring wordlessly.