If The Circumstances Were Right

Is This Goodbye?

At the after-party, he was leaning on the hood of his car at the parking lot, while waiting for her as she bids everyone goodbye.

(This is it. It's the end. I would not get to see her as much anymore. Maybe it's better this way. Para mas ma-figure out ko kung ano nga ba 'tong nararamdaman ko. Pero kaya ko ba? Kaya ko bang hindi siya makita at makasama?)

"Moe!"

"Jea! Tara na ba?"

"Yeah, uwian na eh, ok lang ba talaga na ihatid mo ako? Pwede naman ako sumabay na lang kay Joj?"

"Ok lang Jea. I wouldn't offer to bring you home if ayoko. And I was the one who asked for your mom's permission so you can stay longer, and she knows na ihahatid kita.."

"Ok ok. Fine, tara na para di ka na din gabihin.."

"Alright, let's go!" 

He walks to her side, opening the passenger door for her. She nodded and thanked him. On the drive to her house...

(Ang tahimik naman ni Moe, ok lang kaya sha? Should I start the conversation? Ano naman sasabihin ko? Bahala na nga, ayoko ng awkward silence, baka maiyak ako eh.)

"Ang galing mo talaga kanina sa Kia, Moe. In fairness, naitawid natin yung live part ah. Without mistakes!"

"Oo nga eh. Ang galing natin lahat. Pati ng audience. Si Tita Ayen, ibang level. And ikaw, before and while we were singing, nahawa ako sa pagiging emotional  mo kaya naman feel na feel ko din."

"Hay, nakakatuwa. Sino magaakala? Nakakaoverwhelm. Mamimiss ko talaga silang lahat. The cast, yung crew. Mamimiss kita." (Ooops! Did I just say that out loud?)

"Mas mamimiss kita, Jea."  He pulls over and looks at her with tears in his eyes.

"Moe?" (Ano 'to? Bakit siya umiiyak? At bakit ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko?)

He turns to her, grabs her hands, puts it on his face and as he slowly turned to kiss her right hand, he broke down.

"Jea, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sinubukan ko naman pigilan eh, pero di ko kaya. I know it's unfair, kasi nga I shouldn't. But Jea, di ko na kaya."

"Anong sinasabi mo, Moe. Naguguluhan ako."

(No, I can't tell her yet. Not yet.)
"Wala Jea. I'm sorry. I'm just really emotional right now. A lot of things going on in my head with 'us' ending so soon, I just. I.."

He leans back to his seat, stretched to rest his hands on the wheel and closed his eyes while letting go a big sigh.

Although speechless, she reached out for his right hand, locking it in between her hands.

"Kahit anong mangyari, andito lang ako para sayo."

He looks at her, she smiles. He smiled and pulled her for a hug.

"Ako din Jea. Andito lang ako."

He sniffed her hair as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Walang iwanan?" She asked.

He lets go a little and looked at her straight in the eyes, without blinking.

"Magpahanggang wakas." He said.

She lets out a big laugh and playfully punched his arm.

"Yan. Yan nga ang papalit sa atin eh."

Acting as if her punch hurt, he grinned and started the engine again.

She turned on the radio and they both sang along to every song that played until they reached her place.