A Hard Year

Chapter 5

HERMIONES POV
I haven't spoken to Ron since they day in library. I still couldn't believe that he said that to
me. I hadn't seen Malfoy at all for the past day; we had both been avoiding each other. I had only one more night in the Gryffindor common room with all my friends, before I had to return back to the dreaded apartment.
In potions today, Ron was sat behind me and he was glaring at me throughout they whole lesson, I suppose he had been expecting me to apologise...well he has no chance in that, he started the whole thing. Harry had remained Neutral , not wanting to take any sides, as normal. I knew Harry had spoken about this to Ron, and Harry did agree that what Ron said, was definitely out of order.
I had felt confused by what Malfoy had done, he hated me before, why did he just suddenly stick up for me? But yet again, only a matter hours before he starts insulting me again. I was actually dreading going back into the apartment.
My feet slowly carried me up to the Gryffindor common room and I stumbled through the portrait hole. Expecting to see Ginny, I let my eyes search for her.
"I'm here 'Mione."
Her musical voice rang out through the common room, causing people to look around for her. She was standing at the top of the stairs beckoning for me to hurry up.
"Oh, Hi Gin, I'll be up in a second."
Ginny went back inside my room whilst I slowly walked up the stairs leading to the girls' dorms. After what seemed like an expedition up Mount Everest I walked In through the doors of my room.
Ginny was sprawled out on the couch, happily flicking through a magazine, her fiery red hair fanned out across her long, slender back.
"I'm so sorry about Ron, Hermione; what he said was awful and completely untrue."
She said as she put her magazine down and sat up on the couch.
I went over and plumped myself next to her.
"It's not you fault Ginny, you don't need to apologise."
She gave me a smile.
"Things must be going well with you and Malfoy"
"Things are most certainly not going well with Malfoy! He hasn't spoke to me at all for the last day. And I imagine when we finally get back in the apartment tomorrow, he'll be back to his normal, offensive and cold self."
The words rolled off my tongue uncontrollably as days worth of pent up emotion made it to the surface. Although what I said probably wasn't completely true, well all the stuff about him being cold and offensive was,but I found myself constantly nervous around him, like I was on the edge of a cliff, and someone was about to push me off. I hate the fact that he made me feel like that. I hated the fact that when he defended me in the library , I suddenly had a swarm of butterflies fill my stomach up, and made me feel like that for the whole day. I hated the fact that when he casually wandered out of the shower, with a towel around his waist, my knees went weak. I hated the fact that even though he was awful to me, I was still always drawn to him.
"Maybe, but he did defend you in the library."
Ginny pulled me out of my mental feud and back to reality.
"That doesn't excuse all the years of torment and insults." I retorted , trying to convince myself that I hated Malfoy, just like I did at the beginning of this year. But I knew I didn't.
"I know you don't like him 'Mione, but you only have two days left and then.."
That familiar lump in my throat formed again at the thought of having sex with Malfoy. The idea of his hands on me, his breath on me, his lips on mine..
"Earth to Hermione!"
Ginny waved her hand In front of my face , once again pulling me back into reality. Why was I even thinking like that? I hated him, didn't I?
"Sorry I was thinking about something."
I was thinking about lots of things, and It was hard to focus on certain things now. Ginny was staring at me confusedly so I decided to get back on topic, just so she didn't get suspicious.
"So how are things going with you and Harry?"
Ginny blushed a little , but then broke out a smile and smiled happily.
"We're doing fine, everything's going really well."
I couldn't help but smile, Ginny looked really happy. Well Harry and Ginny had been together before this stupid law enforcement. So they had been extraordinarily lucky to be paired together, unlike Neville and Luna.
"I'm really glad."
I couldn't help the melancholy tone, I wish I had someone who loved me, who cared for me. Ginny could tell I was envious of the easiness of her situation; she put her hand in mine and squeezed tightly.
"It's going to be alright in the end,Hermione."
I wish she knew. I really didn't feel like this was going to be alright. She had someone who loved her, would do anything for her.
"You look really tired."
She half whispered at me as I yawned a little and rubbed my eyes, willing myself to stay awake. It had been a very exhausting day.
"I'm exhausted."
She patted my arm and stood up,
"You should get some sleep, I'll see you tomorrow."
Ginny smiled once more and then she exited via the my door, and then, I was alone once again.
I was so tired I felt like I couldn't move or think. My arms were heavy and my head felt like it weighed a thousand tons.
I got dressed our of my clothes and into my pyjamas. My head lolling back and forth as I made my way into the bathroom. I quickly brushed my teeth and then went and slipped into my bed. The warmth taking over my body as I fell asleep.