What is Left of Her Heart

Towards the End

The first time he told me he loved me, was in the rain. We were arm in arm,

sharing an umbrella.

Wait, no.

That was the first time he told me when

"we"

were

in a relationship.

He first told me he loved me when I called him.

Crying. Crying because

I wanted to end my life. Crying because

I was saved by him. And it hit me hard in the chest, when he said those 3 words. Then I cried some more, because

I wanted to tell him that I was and always has been in love with him, since I first met him. He told me he loved me like a best friend. And I cried then. And I'm crying now, as

I write this because

he has given me every reason to love him, and I do.

And I do.

But I don't believe he truly loves me. I believe that he will eventually will break my heart, as all high school first loves go. And I still don't understand why he finds me attractive.

Saying this like my smile is beautiful and that my eyes are perfect

Maybe all he wants out of this is pleasure.

When "your temple" as he used to call it transitioned to the "tempting" curves of the "sexy" body I have.

That's all he talks about, so why wouldn't that be all he wants. I want to hold his hand, and cuddle.

He just wants to make out and feel me up. Sometimes. And

sometimes

I truly feel he is the nicest guy on the planet. He listens to me cry about my angst. My friends love him. He let me meet his family. And this may scare him, but I want to marry him. I would die happy if I got to have a future with him.