Playing The Game

Playing the game round 2: Trying life without you

Nathan's POV

I watched Cree pullout of the parking lot in shock. I honestly didn't believe she would beat the girl like that. I looked back at a bloody faced Jackie trying to cover from what just took place.

"You should probably go to the hospital. You might have a concussion."

I did feel sorry for the girl but she should watch what she say next time. I took one last look at her before I unlocked the car and got in. As I backed out I saw her trying to stand up. I made a mental note to check up on her later but first I had some other things to deal with.

Within minutes i had pulled up to the house. I hadn't had much time to think about what i can or should say to her.

Careena's POV

I had packed all of the rest of my needed belongings and put most of it in my car. I just don't think that even after this talk that we are going to to be the same again. I don't know if we'll ever be. I'm moving into a smaller house closer to my mom because I feel like i need to be closer to her right now and farther away from Nate.

I had two more bags left. I was walking with one around my shoulder and the other rolling behind me. I went to open the door and Nathaniel was standing there about to walk in. He looked me directly in my eyes and for a moment I was lost there. Then he looked away first and saw my bags.

"Wait, you're leaving again?" He asked still looking at the bags. When I spoke up he looked at me again.

"I mean yea. I said we can talk. That didn't mean I was coming back home." I said it without any sadness in my voice although it pained me to do so. Then I thought about it maybe I shouldn't walk away like I did last time. "You know what I'm gonna be real. There's something that i feel the need to say but up to now I've always been afraid. Afraid that you would never come around. But still i want to put this out. You say you have the most respect for me, but sometimes I feel your not deserving of me. But even though you break my heart your the one I want. But i still can't erase the times that you hurt me and put tears on my face Nathan."

He stood there looking at me with teary eyes. As i had spoken every word it seemed to tear him apart more. I hated seeing that but I have to say this.

"You everything i thought u never were and nothing like I thought you could have been. You're the only person as of now i wish i could forget and the only i don't want to forgive. Yet your still in my heart, and your the only one, and yes there are time when i hate you but I don't complain because I've been afraid that you would walk away. Even now I might hate you and it pains me to say... I will be there at the end of the day." I said the last couple of words walking towards him. I wasn't directly in front of him because I decided to keep my distance.

"Now I'm at a place I thought I'd never be. I'm living in a world that all about you and me. I don't wanna be afraid, just want my broken heart free. I just to spread my wings and fly away from you and the pain. Then again I don't wanna be without you baby, but I dont want a broken heart. I don't wanna take a breath without you, but I'm not gonna play that part. I know that I love you but let me just say; I don't wanna love you in no kind of way. I don't wanna play the broken-hearted girl."

I said all I had to say. I stared at him with tears running from his eyes. He didn't say anything. Honestly I didn't want him to. It was best this way. I looked at him with a small smile playing on my face. I walked past him and left. The only difference this time is I couldn't help but look back. But this time he wasn't.

When I got to my new place I couldn't do -panything i just stayed in my car; eyes wide open, one thing stuck in my mind. Wondering if I just dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life.

Nathan's POV

She left and I couldn't look back because of the pain it caused me last time she walked away. I walked up stairs slowly as I felt every step I took harder to make. I sat on the bed as I walked into our room. Or what was ours. Her stuff was really gone. I couldn't help but sit staring at the phone hoping she'd call. Life is just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping or living at all. Shit. What is happening to me?

A week later.

I don't wanna live without her because i know that i'll be living in vain. I got up and stepped out of my condo for the first time in awhile, determined to find her.

Careena POV

All week I've been out just trying to take my mind off things. Just living life through bottles, just getting drunk. I've just been looking sad in all these beautiful places. I feel crazy. Everywhere I go and turn all i see is him in all these empty faces. I got up ready to leave. All i could think about is how i gave him something. But he gave me nothing. I caught a cab because I didn't drive here. I went for a walk and just wondered around. I got in the car and gave him directions. The only thing wrong with this is I gave him directions to Nate's. What is happening to me?

Nathan's POV

The first place i went to go look for her was Sasha's which of course no luck. She said that she hadn't even talked to her in a long time which was new. I didn't know exactly to go from there but I had to try somewhere. I went to her mother's house with high hopes and she told me she didn't live there and I knew her mother would never live the only thing is, she didn't say she didn't know where she lived. But I figured that she didn't want to tell me or wasn't going to mention it so I just left it alone. Instead of going back to my condo I went to the house.

Careena's POV

I stepped out of the car standing in front of his condo. I knocked on the door a couple of time but no one answered. I was about to turn and walk away when I remembered where the spare was. I reached up above the door to grab them. I looked at the door debating on going in or not.

"Fuck it." I unlocked the door and walked in. Immediately i was hit with his sent and the memories that we made here. I walked upstairs and into the bedroom and laid on the bed. We first made love here. That's when I went crazy.

I sat up quickly and looked around the room. I grabbed the pillows, pulling them out of their sheets and throwing them everywhere. I banged my fist on the wall behind the headboard screaming. I became out of breath of slowly melted down on my knees still on the bed. I whipped my head around and saw a full body mirror. I don't know what got into me but I got up took off my heels and threw them at it, shattering the mirror into pieces. I was breathing hard when my breath got hitched. It felt like hand were holding my side and it sent shivers up my spine and cause my eyes to close. It went just as quick as it came but it calmed me. I took one last look at this place before leaving.

Nathan's POV

I walked into the house. Sadness can hitting me like a flood. This place almost look as it did when we first got it. We had come a long way. But its not how it should be, and its all my fault! I ran towards the dinning room and pulled the sheet off the table knocking off and shattering the dishes. I just need a break I sat down at a seat by the table. Just reminiscing. I don't want to just fit in with everyone and act like everything is okay because its not. I just want Careena.

Careena... Careena..

I stood up and walked into the kitchen grabbed a wine bottle and threw it at a painting causing the wine to spill everywhere. Everything seem to just completely slow down. Life was just in slow motion all together. That didn't stop me. I grabbed the dining table and flipped it over. I ran upstairs, into the bedroom and grabbed a lamp by its base from one of the dressers. It unplugged from the wall as i threw it across the room. I then took a deep breath and looked at the room and realized i didn't want to destroy this. I just want my baby to come back home.