Letters From Detention

Chapter 4

My sixth period Lit class was actually kind of okay. As Mr. Singleton passed out the letters from the seniors, my excitement level rose. He passed by my desk and tossed a random envelope on it. A big number 5 was scrawled on the front in black boyish handwriting. When everyone had received a letter, Mr. Singleton gave the okay to open them. I immediately tore into mine, thankful the guy hadn't licked the seal like a nasty weirdo. My eyes scanned over the almost full page letter written in black ink.

Hey, number 5. In case you couldn't tell from the obvious handwriting, I'm a guy. Yep, cajones and everything. ;) Well, all about me, huh? Let's see. I was born in September and have a younger brother. He's a junior, too, so you may know him. And I think white is a color. It probably looks pretty hot on you. But the whole sushi and cats thing? Yeah, that's kinda gross. I don't like sushi. My favorite food is ice cream, but in kindergarten it was glue. One of the delicious main food groups, huh? No? Didn't think so. Well, I'm writing this letter to you from detention. I'm basically in here every day during this period for something or another. Singleton just hates me that much. Why? Maybe it's because I'm so damn attractive and he's not. ;) That's probably why he's SINGLE and has a TON of ugly warts. Moving on. You sound like a pretty cool girl from what I read. And kick-ass smart, too. A 3.9 GPA? Psh. Mine's a 1.3. Just kidding. It's actually a 3.7. I do pretty well in my classes, except Singleton's. I just like to piss him off. Anyways, my likes. 1. Girls, definitely. 2. Clothes. That may sound like the gayest thing ever, but I'm straight as an arrow. Nice clothes impress girls, so I gots to have 'em. 3. My bad ass car, a black Lamborghini Aventador. Let me just say one thing. I be gettin' it. Hell, yeah. ;) 4. Cooking. Damn, that was hard to write. You're probably laughing your head off at me, but oh well. Now, my dislikes. 1. TWERKING. It's just skanky and not cute. 2. Facial piercings. Again, not cute. I do like bellybutton rings, though. ;) 3. Purses. The amount of things girls keep in those just creeps me out. So purses to me are like ladybugs to you. Except they don't watch me when I shower. (Hopefully.) 4. Heavy. Eye. Makeup. Just say no, sweetie. It's not attractive. Well, that's me. And you hate guys who cheat like Kane Smith? xD That's hilarious. I know him very well, sadly, but I'll definitely be telling him my junior partner hates him. It's interesting to find at least one girl who sees right through him. Hope I'm not as boring as you were worried about. No way do I need my precious partner curling up into the fetal position and dying.
Signed, #12

By the time I had finished the letter, I was struggling to hold in my laughter. This guy, whoever he was, did have some balls or cajones. And agreeing with me about Kane? That made me like him even more. I really was glad that he didn't have the personality of a rock. But he actually liked cooking? That was sexy. And he was scared of purses? That was tragic.

"Is everyone finished reading their letters?" Mr. Singleton asked from the front of the room. There were a handful of low murmurs, which he took as a yes. "Alright, good! There is one thing I think I forgot to mention to you yesterday. On no grounds whatsoever are you to meet up with your partner face-to-face. You already know the consequences that will take place if I find out this is going on."

A chubby girl with glasses raised her hand. "Sir, you did say we could text our partners, right?"

"No, I did not. And NO meeting your partner. I want this whole project to be about trusting others you don't actually know." Mr. Singleton paused and took a swig from his Aquafina water bottle. "Today, we will not be writing a reply letter back to your partner. Instead, we will be going through a worksheet about comma splices."

Great. Comma splices. What I'd really rather do was splice my head in the classroom door.

***

Kane sauntered up to me after my seventh period French II class was over and slung an arm around my shoulders. Girls hurrying through the hallway to their various after-school activities paused in their stiletto-heeled tracks and skewered me to death with their glaring eyes. I rolled my own back at them. It wasn't like I really wanted Kane in the same way they did. If that's what they thought, then they were in for a rude awakening.