Rose stiffled back a gasp. What had she done? The unspeakable is what. She had whispered the real Doctor's name in the midst of making love with John, aka "Tentoo". He pulled away from her, looking into her eyes and then suddenly he rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed. His elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. She realized what she had done and quickly moved to apologized.
"Don't." His voice was flat and dull, but it cut her all the same.
"I'm sorry." She pleaded. She moved closer to him, but he quickly stood up looking for his pants. He said nothing and she sat there trying to think of something to say. She wished life had a rewind button, or anything to just erase what just happened. She hung her head, trying not to cry. She knew that things were hard for John trying to live up to what the Doctor had been to her. Not to mention adjusting to human life. By the time she looked up, John was already walking out the bedroom door and headed down the stairs. He was leaving. She quickly grabbed her robe, tied it around her and headed out the room, almost tripping on the stairs because she was so frantic.
"John! John wait! I didn't mean-
His face snapped to look at her, " No, I know exactly what you meant!"
They were in the kitchen now and John was looking for his wallet. He needed to get out of here and fast. Rose stood by the sink, clearly upset , but he didn't care. This wasn't this first time this kind of thing had happened. The first was not one week after they had settled in together. They were making dinner and and she fed him a piece of tomato. He spit it out in the sink. A puzzled look crossed her face and she said "That's funny, he always liked tomatoes." He had ignored it, but it still didn't mean that it didn't sting. But this time was different; they had been together. Literally. And he was sure that she had finally gotten past the Doctor and was getting used to the idea of him. But in just a second all of his hopes had been shattered and now he needed to get away.
"Where are you gonna go?" Rose said.
"I don't know yet, but anywhere but here." He looked over his shoulder at Rose and saw that she was crying. Dammit. He shouldn't leave her like this, but his fury outweighed what his mind was telling him to do. "Where are the bloody keys?" He mumbled under his breath.
She held up a set of keys, "Here." She held them out to him and he moved towards her. He reached for them, but hesitated before finally snatching them out of her hand. He pushed past her and quickly walked to the front door. He knew she was following him, she'd probably follow him all the way to wherever he was going. He opened the door and took a step out before turning around to face her one last time.
"Rose can I ask you just one thing? Just one thing? What do you want from me? Because I don't know! I'm not him! I may look like him and have his memories, but we are not the same!"
"I don't want anything from you. I just wanted.."
"Yeah that's just it. You wanted him! But guess what? You can't expect me to be him! You either take me as I am or leave me because I'm not wasting my life trying to live up to someone who's not coming back!" And with that he stormed out the door and got in the car. The car that she had helped him buy not three days ago. He started it and turned the lights on, when he looked up she was standing in front of the car. Leave it to Rose to never give up. She tapped on the glass and motioned for him to roll the window down.
"At least tell me where you think you're going to go."
"I'll call you whenever I get to where I'm going. I just need some time."
"Ok. Yeah. Time, right." She wiped at her face and backed away from the car. He put the car in reverse and began to back out of the drive. He pulled into the street and drove away. He told himself not to look in the rear view, but he did and saw her standing in the driveway alone. He almost regretted leaving, but he knew he couldn't stay in that house with her while he felt like this, so he drove.
