Dream On (A Louis Tomlinson Fanfic)

Epilogue

Alana's P.O.V

Every girl dreams of their wedding day. They all expect to be this beautiful, shining, princess whose getting married to this handsome prince, up in a big, extravagant castle.

Well that's how I pictured my wedding when I was younger. I've always dreamt of this day and I couldn't wait for it to get here, but now that it's here, I'm wishing I still had years before I was to be married.

Because that day is when everything hits you like a crane knocking down a gigantic building.

Today was my day and yesterday, I thought it would be the most amazing day, but when I woke up this morning, I was smacked with realization.

And I was smacked hard.

Weddings mean a lot of different things to different people. I always imagined my wedding to represent two different people joining together because of their love. I just pictured it as a gigantic party where everyone just celebrated the couples love for one another and how they planned on keeping their love for one another, forever. It doesn't seem like a big deal, when you are younger, but when you are actually experiencing a wedding, it means so much more than that.

It means moving on into the future, growing up, taking on responsibilities, raising a family, and all the while still maintaining the relationship with your spouse. It's difficult. More difficult than anyone ever realizes and that's why people get divorced. They do not understand the consequences of getting married to a person they barely know, or getting married young. Because you have to give up a lot.

And honestly I'm scared, I'm so scared. I'm scared to the point that I haven't spoken a word this morning. Everyone can tell there's something wrong with me. Frankly, I don't know if I want this wedding to happen today.

It's not like I'm doubting my love for Louis, and our love for each other because in all honesty, we'd be that couple that could make it. We'd be the couple that would still fall for each other everyday, and still love each other until we die, because our kind of love is rare and we have savored it.

I'm just scared that doing my part in this whole new adventure I will embark on today, will fail. And I will come crashing down.

I've never been one to grow up, I've always been the same little girl. The girl who just cracks a joke and is so carefree but still likes to explore because adventure was a characteristic she learned as a child. But growing up and getting a job, and handling responsibilities, will require me to have to let go of the child in me. Especially if I want to start a family.

And the thought of the family kills me. Because not only would I most likely be a new mom raising a kid, I would have to do it alone. I know, that sounds bad, but Louis is gone most of the year on tour, and if we have a kid, his job won't just stop for us. I would have to raise the baby by myself. Which will cause stress, and fights and then slowly mine and Louis' relationship will fade. We'll be distant.

It's just the matter of the facts.

"Oh darling, you look so beautiful!" My mom called to me, entering the bride room.

"Everything's ready!" She screamed again, and when I didn't answer or acknowledge her, she sighed and walked away.

I couldn't help but be down. When all I've been thinking of in the past 5 hours, is depressing thoughts.

Lou is careful to put my vail on and finish my hair completely, which I'm thankful for. All the girls are ready.

But am I?

"Allie.... Harry wants to know if he can see you." Sydney asks me.

I quickly shake my head no. If Harry sees me like this, he'll tell Louis and I don't want him to know.