Hell's Angel (BK 1)

One Week Later

Alison's POV
(bellamysgirl)

The preacher was talking, praying—saying something but I wasn't sure what. It was like I couldn't feel anything. Everything was just empty. Doris had a tight hold of my hand on my right, Chase snuggled into my left. People were crying, feeling sad, doing what people normally do at funerals. But all I could do was stand there staring at the casket being laid down. After the words were said, the few that were at the funeral, were able to place flowers on the casket.

Purple, almost lavender roses. I should know the exact color by now. I helped Doris plan this. But that whole time, never once did it hit me like right now. Never once did I stop and think Ben wasn't coming back. It all just rolled right over me. The true weight of what's happened was finally setting in. I sniffled. "Chase, honey, why don't you take your flower over?" I suggested, bending down an inch to see Chase.

I could tell it was hitting him, too. But I don't think he quite got it. Chase never spent any long periods of time with Ben, so most of his moping was probably just everyone else's moods getting to him. He nodded with a sigh and let go of me, before starting over for the casket. I wiped at a loose bit of water from the corner of my left eye and turned to Doris. Thankfully she was able to make it today. She was in a wheelchair, but she was here.

Before I could say anything to her, she looked up at me. "Thank you for helping me make this happen, Alison," she said. "Ben...he always spoke fondly of you. You were his protégé. His favorite student. He saw a lot of himself when he was starting out in you." She smiled weakly and I inhaled, trying not to break down.

I faked a small smile. "He was very special. If there is anything you need—ever—I'm here, okay?" I looked up at her caretaker, the nurse that escorted her here. "If she needs anything, can you call me? Whether it's insurance or- just anything."

"Oh, that's not necessary. Ben took out a policy a while back...he's taken care of me," she waved it away. Her eyes started filling up and she looked down. "He's always taking care of me, even now."

I held her hand tighter and moved to stand in front of her. "Doris, please...please call me. Chase and I will come visit you so you won't get lonely," I said, gaining her attention. "I don't care if you say no; I won't let you be alone. Ben...Ben was like family to me. You have me now, okay? You have me." She smiled a bit through some tears and her caretaker leaned forward a bit.

"It's time we get back," she announced.

I nodded and squeezed Doris's hand. "I'll call you in the morning, yeah?"

"Thank you," Doris nodded. "Thank you for everything, Alison." I let go of her hand and her caretaker rolled her away, back to the road through the cemetery. A sudden touch to my arm startled me slightly as I turned back toward the casket. It was Matt. Dani and Karen were talking about something while putting their flowers down, out of ear shot.

I turned to face Matt fully. "This seems like a stupid question but...how are you?" he asked, gently. How am I? I looked to Dani and Karen. They weren't paying attention. They were busy now, looping Chase into the conversation. I looked back at Matt. I couldn't quite think of what to say but my chest started aching, and my eyes were no longer completely dry.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. "He's gone...Ben's g-gone, Matt," I sucked in a breath, trying to tamp it down—and failing. It only made it worse. "How do I get better after this, after...I can't lose anyone else. I can't." I was shaking my head, the tears blurring my vision. Matt put his arms around me, pulling me into his chest, and I buried my face in the shoulder of his coat. "You won't," he said, almost too quiet for me to hear. "I promise."