Constellations and the little light gods

Chapter une

"On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair

Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim

I had to stop for the night!!" I sang the first verse of hotel California by eagles. I fell in love with the song the first time my grandpa played it on his vinyls . "Cale!" My mother yelled from the outside of my door "lower you're music it's late " she scolded I absolutely hate her scolding she always repeats everything's she say over and over again " okay mom I got the point!" I said as I completely turned off my music . buzzkill .

I turned on my laptop and signed on to tumblr my absolute pride and joy .my amazing blog. It had a whooping quantity of followers it's 47.2k . I love to talk to random people to tell my hopes , dreams , and secrets a to , the comfort you get of telling a person you will never ever meet in Real life but completely understands you . It's amazing it makes the battle against you're self much easier to cope with it helps ease the pain the those who are lucky never exactly feel . That feeling that your downing and being consumed at the same time ; and slowly though out time you start to fade and so does the strength . You come to realize so many things . I sighed as I closed my laptop and placed it down . I laid there just thinking about when I found out I was severely depressed something I was absolutely terrified of getting again that admitting to my self is hard

Flashback:

"Hey mom have the results from the doctor came back yet ?" See in my family low thyroid / auto immune system run in the family so I though the pain , crying spells and the huge drop in weight was my auto immune issue .wrong . " darling the doctor said you were fine just depressed " mom said sweetly

I cried I didn't want to admit it to myself that I was severely depressed . I thought I was physically sick I thought they would give me pills to stop my disorder . No . It was mental . I was physically sick cause mentally I was void ,pressured , and felt destroyed .

I DIDN'T ADMIT It

I cried and cried I just . Couldn't . I can't be. I though I won the war I was wrong I only won the battle

My only issue is how do I Win?

What do you guys think so far ? Please be honest