I would not make a good Sith

I was sitting on my couch, watching Star Wars, when there was a rather large pop and a bright flash of light. I remembered shouting some expletive, but the next thing I knew I was on what appeared to be the Death Star with Vader standing in front of me. I swore again and stumbled backwards, my hair coming out of it's pinned back state and falling down in front of my face. I fell backwards trying to escape from the nearly seven-foot tall Sith Lord, and two stormtroopers grabbed my arms and hauled me back into a standing position.

It was then my brain commented on how stupid the troopers looked, and when Vader asked me a question, he first words out of my mouth were "Why white?"

"What?" he asked, apparently confused.

" Why white for the troops armor? They look like krethin 5 year olds."

One of the troopers pinched my forearm, so I kicked him in response. Darth Vader still seemed slightly confused, but shrugged( which looked strange) and motioned for the troopers to take me away.

"Alright Rebel Scum," said the one who hadn't pinched me, "How'd you get on board?"

I decided to dub the one who had pinched me Pinchy, and the other one Insulty. Pinchy pinched me again, and I glared at him, telling Insulty,

"Since when is everyone a rebel spy? I mean, I was lost, okay? I probably fell asleep in a crate and you people carried me on board!"

"You don't know how you got on board?" asked Insulty, confused.

"Nope," I said, "Not an idea. I dont't even know where I'm from!"

"Lies!" said Pinchy suddenly, "She lies! Lord Vader will get the truth out of her!" He pointed up triumphantly.

"great." I mumbled, "now I'm a liar and a rebel spy/scum. WHY ME?!" The last part was directed at the ceiling, the frustration evident in my voice as I facepalmed myself and swore when I realised my glasses were gone.

   "What the kriff?" I yelled as Pinchy and Insulty pushed me into a cell.  Pinchy let off an air of triumphance before the durasteel door what shut in my face.  I shouted again at the closed door and began to pace back and forth, trying to figure out how I had ended up on the Seath Star.  I found a small pebble and began to kick it around the room while mumbling some calculations to myself.

  No, I am not a math genius, the calculations were nosense and were just to get my tongue doing something. I should probably tell you that I frequently drop items, trip over myself, and swear.  I'm of normal height with short red hair and green eyes, and my skin is nearly white, its so pale.  I have a smattering of freckles across my straight nose and I normaly wear a pair of half-rimmed glasses, which have purple metal on top and fishing wire on the bottom. So what usually happens with a face-palm is one of the lenses fall out.  And then we have to stick it back in.   I'm a social butterfly once you get to know me, and any bully I encounter is a shivering mess when I get done with them.  My tongue is as sharp as my fencing sword.

  It was probably an hour or so before Vader walked in.

   "How nice of you to join me in my wonderful room," I said, before switching the topic,"Why are you here?"

  "You are a Force-Sensitive."