III.
I remember a moment
Somewhere back
In the haze of childhood
And I can barely determine
Memory from imagination
When I was 3 or 4
A waddling child who laughed
My father, face blurry, scooped
Me in heavy arms
Holding me out and high
Presenting me for the world’s
Dizzy admiration
He spoke to me in strong words
That were confident and they reverberated
Throughout me as though they were more than words
They were a message,
You are going to change the world, John-Boy.
I take that to heart
I have dreamt that moment a thousand times
In my hopelessness I look to it for solace
Or maybe I am a madman
I keep catching myself
Imagining a puzzle
The puzzle does not have a cohesive form
Though it’s only missing one piece
It is all jumbled together
Pieces that don’t fit are crammed together
And the edges are all blunt and broken
It must mean something
I’ve tried to convince myself that I am not insane
And I’ve succeeded in convincing myself
Not to seek help
I don’t have any close family
My mother is a bitter woman
She lives somewhere in the clouds of France
Her name is Analiese.
We are not very close
My father is dead
Has been dead for long time
His name was Paul.
My brothers are business men
And my sister is a poet in China or Japan
Or somewhere
I have only just now begun to think
That these dreams are not the figments of mental disease
Though I think I always knew
It seems personal: close
Like the dreams are messages
Like my father’s words
I have always been different
Always been the solitary man in the coffee shop
Who comes and goes like a shadow
The one who never has real friends
The one who “never minds”
The one who “excuse mes”
I am never too plagued by this
Except those skinny moments
Of crashing, splattering loneliness
But those pass quickly
I find my solace in words
Wrap them about me like a gown
The phone rings.
YOU ARE READING
The Emergence
PoetryThere is a man who is named John Statten Roman and whose lifeline is strangely and inextricably tied with that of the beautiful and elusive girl, Zooey, and the mysterious and powerful figure known as Mardock. There is a city that does not exist and...
