I always thought seventh grade would be a fresh new start until I was there. I was finally in the seventh grade I was so excited hoping that it was all gonna be over with. But that was only a thought, a dream, a wish that hasn't come true. Never has, never will I thought to myself everyday. I'm called, asked, all the time if I was gay. I can't even make friends that switch schools cause they know right as soon as they move into the town.
Two months in school I already was beat in up. I was pushed into a wall punched , kicked, spit on, called names. I had therapy technically I was always in the guidance counselors office to talk about my week, my day. If I felt like commuting suicide well the truth is I've thought about it. But I never tried I was to scared. My parents never helped they always yelled at me for no apparent reason all the time. Everything is my fault because I'm not good enough for them never have never will be. They got better at not believing what they heard from my younger brother.
I've been suspended cause I was sick of people always being jerks ugh. I got in a fight case they wouldn't stop talking about me being gay and my friends I don't have
And my mom. That's what made me snap I was so angry so sick of and tired of listening about me. I get it, I'm not perfect! I started saying.
Eventually I freaked out in class at a teacher cause I wasn't apparently doing my project. But I felt like she was testing me I guess I failed. Days just go on life just goes on. But like I said I can't do anything not one this besides just letting it go on.
This year I got a new girlfriend and things just keep on being worse and worse and worse. Cause she meets my ex but she's not gonna give in to the drama. Thank god I would probably throw a Sissy fit. But she made comments about it she thought they were hilarious but I didn't .
I've wanted friends and so I came up with something to keep me occupied writing. I used to love writing but apparently I make them gay or there just to pathetic. Even though I thought they were good but that was just me once again. When isn't it always just me.
After a few months I started making friends on the bus and after I felt like they liked me the gay jokes, Started and most days it was only me and my tears. Sometimes I would !make my own songs in my head like: "Freak Show", "By the sandy tree", "Toss the salad", Itchy waffle", day after day after day. And then I thought nothing was better then that. Until I heard about 8th grade. 8th grade the way I heard it is was great all the drama and bullying leave your life. But guess what not me, when will it ever be me.
