As I stood out on the balcony, I ran my hands through my soft, brown curls. The city looked so beautiful even though everything was against it. It had been raining all week and the sky was full of light gray clouds. The sun never shone through in rays and it was one of those days where you can just feel the sad and depression being ripped out of people. People just like me.
I sighed as I took a seat on the metal chair placed out here. The chair that had once lead to an argument at the furniture store because him and I were fighting over which one would look better. Eventually, we ended up with his chair because I couldn't resist his puppy dog face with those shimmering blue eyes staring back at me. I shuddered at the thought of where he could be now. How the hell did we get here? Everything was so perfect between us. Our careers were going well and even though we were still under the covers, I was happy. Key word; was. Now, I'm not sure what's going to happen to me. I need him more than I need air. He means the world to me and I don't know how I've managed this past week without him.
It's been hell, I can assure you that. It'll never be anything but hell if we don't work things out. The saddest part is that I don't if we will work things out. I can't imagine life without him, fuck, it hurts just thinking about it. I can literally feel my heart being torn in two as I picture all of our moments together. From our first kiss to that first time I told him I loved him in the backseat of my car as we sat on the outskirts of town and watched the stars. He didn't say much but lean over and place a warm kiss to the corner of my lips before snuggling back up with me, but I was okay with that. I knew it would take time for him to fully understand how much he meant to me and I was willing to wait for that to happen.
The first time he told me he loved me back would always be my favorite. We were sitting together in the studio after everyone else had left. It was just him and I, monkeying around with our track and listening to all the different ways we would sound. That's when I made all of us sound like chipmunks and we laughed hysterically for five minutes straight. When he got up off the floor, he looked over at me. Twiddling with the headphones in his hand, he looked up and said it. The words fell so effortlessly out of his mouth.
"I love you," his thick Irish accent made the words sound more meaningful as a shy smile crept onto his face.
"Do you mean it?" I whispered back, shocked.
"I really do. I mean it with everything I've got, I love you." My heart skipped a beat hearing those simple words come out of his mouth. I jumped out of my seat and hugged him and placed kisses all over his face.
"I love you too," I whispered into his ear as he tugged at my curls.
Where the hell did we go? From all the love that we shared, we were now two different people starting on two different paths, alone. That's when I realized it. As I was sitting on the balcony, I realized how much I needed him. I realized how much I needed to go find him and remind him of what used to be and what we still have. Shit, he must be a more of a mess than I am. I jumped out of the chair he bought and wiped the small tears that had sprung to my eyes. I needed to find him. My love for him is endless and I'm not sure if he believes that anymore, but I know deep down inside I know he realizes how much I care. That's what little hope I have that he can forgive me and I can finally be happy again. This is where my journey begins.
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you found me // narry
Fanfiction"Lost and insecure you found me, you found me. Laying on the floor surrounded, surrounded. Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late you found me. You found me." -The Fray One Direction wasn't just a band. They were...
