Never Lose Hope

1%

The car rumbled along the road as we all drove to Maryland, where our new house is. We used to live in Massachusetts but mommy thought it was too cold there so that's why we are moving. I am gonna miss liv and Sydney so much but I think I'll make new friends. I'm gonna miss Luke the most though. I loved him, but I'm never going to know if he loves me too. I have to get over him now. But I'm never gonna forget him.
I look out the window, enjoying the scenery. It helps me get away from my problems at school. Sometimes l feel that nobody cares about me. I'm just another person in the world that will stay forever alone. I'm bullied, I try to act like it doesn't hurt, but I can't help the emotions inside. When I get home, I break. My heart breaks into a million pieces. The comments on my body are overwhelming. "I bet you break the beam" or "Please, you can't even run 1/4 a mile.". I think about it when the tears fall, and they fall even more when I do. They call me fat, when I'm really just a bucket of muscle but people don't see that. They judge me like there's no tomorrow. I walk down the hallway, they give me dirty looks. I'm easily broken. They don't know the things I've been through. They don't know that my coach always yells at me when I cry because something hurts. They don't know that my friend has been ignoring me for a month. They don't know that I was diagnosed with depression when I was 5. They don't know what it's like to have a childhood with your sister constantly hitting you. They don't know that I went to the hospital because I threatened to kill myself. People are so rude. The rain drops fall down the window. It makes me more sad than I already am. I just wish I could forget everything and start over my life. I think about self harm sometimes, about doing it. But I never have the courage to. So instead I starve myself. I am 11 years old and 64 pounds. It's really bad and mommy doesn't know about it. I know I need help. I can't function properly. Gymnastics has been harder with no fuel. So I made a decision that would change the way I thought about things. I asked for food. "Mommy can we get food?", I asked. "Sweetie you never eat are you sure?"
"Yes I am ready to eat". She pulls into the nearest chick-fil-a and we go through the drive through. I haven't eaten for 6 months, so the best feeling ever is biting into that tender chicken nugget. I savor every single bite of my meal, it's absolutely delicious. I finally have the most peaceful sleep ever after the chicken, and before I know it, we're at the new house.