Always

Pre-Note: there goes grace again writing super basic fluffy oneshots enjoy

I checked the clock. It was getting late; almost eleven. But Ian would be up. He's always up. 

Espceially lately.

I walked down the hall to his room. His door was cracked, and his light was on.

I knocked, gently.

"Yeah?" he called from the other side, and his voice was weak. Shaky.

I opened the door a little and peeked my head in. He was laying on his bed, sort of curled up in a ball, his phone in his hand. He smiled at me a little.

"Hey," I said, smiling. "Can I come in?"

He sat up. "Uh, sure."

I slowly walked over and sat on the end of his bed, letting out a tiny breath.

"I need to talk to you," I stated, looking straight at him.

He swallowed hard. "About what?"

I sighed and chewed my lip a little. "You've just been... weird these past few days. I know you know what I'm talking about." I crossed my legs on his bed and played with the frayed end of his blanket. "I mean, you've been like, avoiding me. You never wanna do anything with me outside of work, you don't even eat dinner with me anymore... Did I do something?"

He looked down and pulled the sleeves of his jacket down over his hands, even though it was pretty warm in his room.

"Yeah, you kinda did."

He spoke so quietly, so fragily, I could barely understand him.

"What'd I do?" I asked, scooting a little closer to him.

He pulled his knees up to his chest and looked up at me. His eyes were glassy.

"I love the way you love the green Sour Patch Kids but you hate the green Skittles."

For a moment, I just stared at him. And he stared back. And the look on his face was completely serious.

And then I laughed.

"What?"

"And I love the way you drool in your sleep and deny it."

"I do not-"

"And I love the way you always leave your clothes in a big pile on the floor instead of taking care of them, even though I act like I hate it. And I love how you say you like anything on your pizza but when I order what I want, you pick it off. And-"

"Ian-"

"I love how you sing in the shower, softly, so you think I can't hear. And I love how you're the most caring and understanding person I've ever met."

He was now crying. And I had no idea why. But it made me want to cry too; I couldn't stand to see him like this.

"Ian-"

"And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you."

His eyes stared into mine, and for a moment, I expected him to laugh and say he was joking, but he didn't. He wasn't joking.

"Ian-"

"And that's what you did." He sobbed and buried his head in between his knees. "You made me fall in love with you. And I hate myself for it, because I'm not supposed to love you. I've never felt this way about any other guy before, and I'm not supposed to."

"Ian-"

"You're my best friend, and now I ruined it. You obviously don't wanna be my friend anymore, and it's all my fault. I hate myself. I shouldn't feel this way..."

"Ian!-"

"And I tried to just ignore it and tell myself it was nothing, but I can't. I love you, and I hate myself for it."

"God damnit Ian, would you just listen to me!"

He froze and slowly looked up at me. His face was flushed and he had tear marks all the way down to his chin.

I didn't know what to say. What to do.

Looking at him, after he just let all that out, something came over me. I couldn't pinpoint it. My hands began to tremble, it was hard to breathe, and my mind felt numb. 

The last time I felt this way was the last time I told someone I loved them for the first time.

Maybe I had for a while, and he just opened my eyes to it, or maybe I just fell in love with him right then and there. But I loved him.

I loved Ian Hecox. My best friend.

And in that moment, I had never wanted to kiss someone so bad in my whole entire life.

So I did.

I lunged forward and grabbed him under his chin, quickly guiding his lips to mine. I flicked my eyes shut and fell into it, feeling his lips move slowly against mine after a mere moment of shock. His lips tasted slightly like tears and sorrow, but I still tasted Ian. And that was easily my favorite taste in the world.

"I love you too," I whispered instantly after gently pulling away. I opened my eyes and his face was just a few inches from mine. And he was smiling now, and that made me smile too.

He laughed a tiny, relieved laugh, and I kissed him again, this time slower and deeper. He rested his hand on the back of my neck and I smiled against his lips.

"And here I was thinking I just lost my best friend," he whispered after a minute, looking deep into my eyes.

I smiled just a little, grabbing his hand and carefully intertwining our fingers. 

"Never," I said. "Don't you ever think that again."

He smiled back and scooted closer to me. I wrapped my arms around him and slowly guided him down onto his bed so we leaned back against his pillows. He slowly climbed on top of me and wrapped his hands loosely around my neck, looking right down at me.

"I love you so much," he said, a final tear making its way down his cheek.

I reached up and wiped it away. "I love you too."

He nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck and I rubbed his back, smiling against his hair. It was so crazy how just five minutes ago I had no sort of feelings for my best friend, and now, here I was, cuddling with him. And I loved him. I knew I did. And I can honestly say I've never loved anyone more in my whole life.

"Oh, and by the way," I said, "I don't drool in my sleep."

A/N: I hate this lmao but my friend basically forced me to upload it ok and ps the song in the sidebar is one of my favs of all time and for some reason it deeply reminds me of ianthony so listen to it I guess yes okay goodbye