I was oblivious, still holding onto my ex best friend and also the guy I was still hopelessly in love with even after he had became distant and we had stopped talking as much. His name was Jason.
Jason.. I can't even remember how long I've liked him. The first time I saw him I already developed a crush. I was in the 6th grade and just started a new church along with my friends from after schools. He was a long time church member, 8th grader, and seemingly so darn cute. But we weren't friends or anything. Not even acquaintances. eventually, my crush died down. I rarely went to church anymore, rarely saw him, life was normal. But then, enter me in 8th grade. I had just stopped talking to Wilson (another guy, another story) I started going to church often and he was still there. Long story short, we started talking. and then for almost two years we never stopped. it was everyday, starting in the morning and ending the night. Can you really blame me for falling for him? He was so funny to be around, always made me laugh, always comforted me and he was always there to hear my current boy troubles or friend problems. In return, I did the same. I learned so much about him that I keep close to my heart to this day. He was honestly my first love. even if he didn't feel the same. I remember the day we stopped talking. I had gotten into a super huge fight with my best friend and was considering leaving church. He had already left church by this point but we still talked even after he left. He encouraged me. Told me we could go to a new church together, and what not. I was honestly considering it because he would be there. I had missed him so much at church and it just didn't seem complete without him. But, in the end I chickened out and stayed. He didn't seem like he was too happy but he didn't say anything. 2 weeks later, we stopped talking and any efforts made by me were shut down. Finally, after a while we kind of started talking again. This time was different. There just wasn't that excitement that was there in the beginning. We've both changed so much and it was just so unfamiliar. But I'm glad we didn't leave on bad terms. However, one day I saw him at Starbucks. I was already in a bad mood. I was on my period and very sensitive to anything basically. He walked in and saw me but tried to hide from me. I know, it's not a big deal. However at the time I was so sad and mad that I told him in a snarky voice "thanks for ignoring me". Now I'm too nervous and cowardly to look at him again whenever we end up at the same place.
