Sulfuric Cyanide

"Who would like to add the next ingredient?" Ms. Goss scanned the room for volunteers. "Come on, it was in the reading last night." I looked around the classroom, hoping someone would raise their hand. I didn't want her to call on me. I am a great student, but not in this class. Ms. Goss' set her bug eyes on me, her round glasses made her brown eyes appear larger. "Ellie," she smiled, "come on up, don't be shy." Terror froze my heart when she called my name. The beating in my ears got louder and my body trembled as I felt twenty pairs of eyes in the room lock onto me.

As I stood, my chair screeched against the linoleum. My chair didn't have the protective feet at the bottom like the other chairs did. The others snickered at me.

"Hush it up," Ms. Goss warned and the class obeyed.

I walked through the silence from the back of the classroom, trying not to make eye-contact with anyone. No one at this school liked me, all they ever did was poke fun at me.

A note card dropped in my path that said, "Add H2O2 ;)" It fell from Heidi D'Amico's desk.

"Can you pass me that, please?" her voice light and nasally. She tilted her head and flashed her white smile behind her red lipstick lips. She was the prettiest girl in Biloxi High and possibly in all of Biloxi. At least the prettiest I had seen, anyway.

I picked up the notecard and placed it on her desk. I gave her a weak smile, not daring to show my discolored yellow teeth, and made my way to the front of the class.

"Your beaker, Ellie?"

"Wh-what?"

"At your lab desk, you need to bring the beaker with the correct chemical assigned for today's lab."

"Oh..."

The class snickered again. I didn't want to turn around. I smiled up at Ms. Goss and then looked down and fidgeted with the cuffs of my sweater when I saw she wasn't smiling back. She was kind, but her lab coat made her intimidating. I felt dumb asking questions because she expected us to know the material, and chemistry isn't something you learn overnight.

"I'll get it for her," Heidi said. She was so nice.

"Thank you, Heidi." Ms. Goss said.

Heidi brought me 400Ml of H202 in a beaker and pranced back to her seat. Her body language confident and demanding respect in her sway. The way her wavy, honey-blonde hair bounced only added to model walk. I wish I had her hair and walk. My hair was dingy brown and thin. I was average in all areas. My pasty skin could never compare to her glow.

She whispered something to Samantha Feltzer, her best friend. Samantha was pretty, but not as pretty has Heidi. She had long auburn hair that always looked wet and she wore dark make-up around her eyes to bring out the grey color.

"Ellie?"

"Huh?" I snapped out of observation mode.

"The last chemical."

"Right... umm... when I add—"

"—You need to speak up, no one can hear you."

I cleared my throat. "When I add this chemical—"

"—Could you clarify on 'this chemical'?" Ms. Goss let out a small laugh, it was pretentious if you ask me.

What was the chemical I was putting in. Come on, I studied really hard for this. I remember from the picture in the book that it makes a pretty gold color. Lead... that's it!

"Lead nitrate. It will make gold, right?"

"Not actual gold, but you are spot on with the color. Add it in."