DON'T GO

Zenosyne

I don't know why I couldn't stop myself. It was a level of toxicity that was detrimental to my health but he was a poison I seemed intent on taking.

The whole dose.

Though illegal it may be.

There were so many infractions we were committing and adultery was one that I hadn't intended to ever commit, but I couldn't contain my desire for him. He was a married man and he crossed the line to meet me and I took it further by continuing our illicit affair outside of the realms of responsibility and reality. I had no one to answer to, not in a relationship sense. I had no girlfriend, or wife for that matter. I was in charge of myself and I made no qualms about my many sexual interludes.

And there were plenty.

I was Kris Wu, after all.

The night my life changed, and forever changed it did, was the beautiful Huang Zitao introducing himself to me and flat out offering himself to me. I've never been on the cusp of such delight and I was intrigued. I was trapped in his web of seduction and I'd come to realize that I would never get out.

That seemed to be the plan from the start.

I hadn't realized what I was getting myself into from that first introduction, but it was life down the rabbit hole. I touched the hand that stole my life and led me into a vicious cycle of raunchy sex and depraved indifference to where we actually fucked. Zitao, or my baby, which I immediately started calling him, would show up at my penthouse at all hours of the night. It wasn't planned, and it hadn't dawned on me that I ever gave him my address. I hadn't a chance too. I was his prey and he stalked me relentlessly. I didn't stand a chance at survival and at this point, I really didn't care.

I didn't know that his every move was under surveillance, that he was just as much prey as I was. I didn't know how he suffered at the hands of Jack. I was only allowed to see the spectacle of their social marriage, the soft gazes of love in the board room, the lingering caresses of a loving and doting husband, giving his spouse their all. I didn't see the beatings and degradation bestowed upon Zitao until I was already in too deep. The first bruise was brushed off as something I might've done, since our bedroom activities would get rather heated and hectic. I didn't realize that my antics were being used as a cover up for something more illicit.

How could I unravel all of this?

I was in too deep already and I didn't know what was happening to me. My heart thumped in my chest in the mere presence of Zitao, taking him in the manner I did, I could feel it coming from him as well. Our bodies entwined, spreading him open and gazing upon him, just caused many emotions to flitter in me. I hadn't ever had a relationship with a man and I couldn't understand what was going on. I'd had numerous relationships with women, well, not relationships, let me correct myself. These were women that I fucked. There was no love there, just a hole that I fucked open. I made sure I wore a condom. There would never be any mistakes from some broad I hardly knew talking about she'd be having my baby. Fuck that! I know my mother wanted me to have a kid, but I wasn't ready for that. I was too selfish and self-absorbed to add some miniature version of myself to the equation.

In the beginning, our time together was filled with nothing but sex. It wasn't as if we could be seen in public at some restaurant or social event. I had to make do with the time he allotted me. I began making sure that I had wine available and certain foods that I knew he would always want after I was done fucking the shit out of him. I would never be able to wake up to that beautiful visage. I would never know what it was like to bask in the aftermath of our intimate connection. I knew I was falling and I didn't care that I felt like a fucking fool. I already surmised that once we began, there'd be no turning back.

How could I?

I knew we were playing with fire, having a relationship with a married man was not a good idea. Not in any sense of the word, but I didn't realize that it was actually extremely dangerous what I was doing. Zitao never divulged the reality of his home life, preferring to live in the fantasy world of "us" while it lasted. The first night he came to my door, I was consumed with a deep seated heat penetrating and radiating from my core. I closed my eyes, committing his beautiful face to my memory, trying to regulate my breathing as I was on the verge of shaking. I didn't know what had come over me. I could never picture myself acting in this fashion.

Our first night led to many, many more nights of keeping our illicit affair going. I couldn't stop seeing him. I would be in meetings, getting distracted and looking at my phone, waiting for any form of communication from him. I knew he couldn't always reach out and I'd have to wait like a good little boy at my house, hoping against hope that he'd knock. When he crawled on my massive bed, he rolled himself onto his back, waiting for me. I was stunned as I realized that he was naked under the long, leather trenchcoat, he arrived in. His body was beautiful. I wasted no time climbing on my bed and sitting next to him. I was afraid to touch him, just admiring the bronzed goodness laying out before me. He pulled me closer, assaulting my lips with his plush ones, kissing the life out of me. He wanted me to know how much he wanted me and I couldn't voice out that the feeling was oh so mutual. I couldn't deal these emotions. He was fucking beautiful and I had to say to myself, "Snap out of it," several times as I couldn't believe the wondrous being offering himself to me. In that moment, I was naïve to believe that he was just for me. I couldn't wait to taste him. I wanted to feel every inch of him. I have never desired anyone like I did him, not ever.

I don't know what came over me and I would've swore on a stack of bibles that I'd never do this, but without any hesitation, I dipped my head between Zitao's legs, engulfing his entire dick in my mouth. This was always done to me, women loved sucking my dick. I had no idea where this even came from and the most beautiful sound reached my ears and I wanted to keep hearing it. Zitao was moaning and I couldn't stop my own dick, that was now twitching and needed to be freed from my pants, which seemed inordinately tight at the moment. I don't know where this skill came from or I guess I was just prone to know, since I was a man and knew what I liked. I wasn't having any qualms about bestowing the same treatment on Zitao, wanting nothing more than to make him feel my love. I was bobbing my head, taking my hand and stroking his inner thigh. I knew it wasn't enough and I had to, I needed to give him more.

So much more.

I moved further down his glistening body, taking each of his balls in my mouth, relishing the taste and sucking on them gently. I lightly nipped at the bronzed skin, as I continued to slide up and down Zitao's very hard shaft. His breath was haggard as his hands gripped my Egyptian cotton sheets, gasping for air. I knew I had to take this further. I couldn't control myself any more. I positioned myself between his muscled thighs, taking his lips into my own, savoring the taste of them. I prodded his hot mouth with my tongue, he had no problem with the notion that my lips had just finished sucking him off. He sucked on my tongue like a lollipop. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my lips with the passion of that first kiss. It continued, our lips smacking against one another, sloppy and thirsty. That rabbit hole appeared again as we both knew we were lost, lost in something neither of us could define. The emotions were overwhelming us and those repressed emotions, those feelings that Zitao hid behind, with his conventional marriage, we knew we could never be out and about. Kissing Zitao, the motion of his lips against mine, my soul was snatched from me and our fate sealed.

"I want you so bad," I rasped out, desperation showing as I was about to place a condom on my hard, oh so hard dick. It was beyond swollen, the anticipation was killing me. Zitao's hand sprung out, grabbing the little package from my hand, gladly tossing it aside. "No!" Staring into my eyes, he pulled me closer to him, positioning me right at his clenching entrance. "I want to feel all of you."

Nothing could've ever prepared me for such a statement. I was long gone and I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I wasted no time and slid right inside that hot cavern and I felt as if I were being strangled. The heat was incomparable. I made a quick motion and thrust deep, my hips incited something in both of us, a fire so deep, the desire, it flicked with a yearning so palpable, neither of us could ever be prepared.

Each time I snapped my hips, Zitao's voice cried out and those heart-wrenching moans were more beautiful than anything I had ever heard.

I needed to keep hearing it.