Lifes Red Strings

Unblinking Eyes

I'm so tired.

But my body won't rest.

My eyes are unblinking.

I groan as I lay here, listening to the echoing ticks of my clock. It has been years since I've had a good sleep. Even then, upon awakening, I never feel refreshed. I look at my phone to check the time. 4AM. Another sleepless night. My mind races and my eyes feel heavy, but my body wont let me sleep. I feel myself getting tired, but my eyes stay open. Almost like they are forced open. I hate this. I've tried many things to help, but none of them work. I sigh and hug my pillow, looking out my window and listening to the clock tick. The wind blowing lightly against the house. The night creatures making noises and the moonlight is the only thing making light. My eyes are glazed over, dark circles under my eyes, paler skin than usual, bloodshot eyes, bruises from me being clumsy and tired. My mind wondered into deep thinking, dark thoughts, happy thoughts, confusing thoughts, everything was swimming in this pool I call my mind. My eyes glance around my dark room and I stop at my clock, watching it slowly tick. No one really knew I rarely sleep. Only a few know. Even then, everyone can see my tired state. But I don't like talking about it much to strangers. So I keep it all in and hope for one night of sleep. I read the clock and sigh and throw my pillow against my wall. 6AM. I have to "awaken" and start a new day. Fantastic. I slowly lift myself up and run a hand through my hair as a migraine sets in, making my head spin. I groan and reach over and pull out my pills. Migraine pills and pain pills. The only things that keep me from pain. I take one migraine pill and two pain pills, taking them dry, and head to my bathroom. I curse aloud to myself as I hit my leg on something. Great. Another bruise to add to my body. I keep my hand to the wall as I walk into my restroom and glance at the mirror. I look horrible. But, I can't do anything about it. I turn and punch my bathroom wall to wake me up more, to keep me out of my tired state and clench my teeth as pain shoots up my arm. I turn back to the mirror and look down at the sink. I bite my lip and turn on the cold water, placing my hands under the cold clear liquid and shiver as chills run up my spine. I lean down and splash my face a few times, leaning up and shaking my head. Water flies across the room and I run my wet hand through my hair. I sigh and think.

Today is another day.

*This was a true story about me*