Suicide Mission (Guarded Secrets #1)

2: "Better luck next time James."

I didn't sleep for the remainder of the night. Instead, since I couldn't sleep, I snuck out of the house. I was talented when it came to sneaking in and out of the house to say the least, because if I didn't want to make a sound, I didn't. I was light on my feet after having to learn how to walk on burnt feet for the first year after the crash, and I was agile from years of swimming. Swimming had also gifted me with a thin, but fit body that allowed me to squeeze into tight spots and move quickly and suddenly if I needed to.

I lived on the third floor of the Ricker home in what had at one point been the sun room. They allowed me to stay there instead of in the attic when I explained that after the crash I didn't like to be secluded from everyone, especially not all alone in the dark.

Besides them, only Damon had come to visit me in the hospital. There were times when he would bring someone else with him that I didn't know, but they never really said much to me. They would just look me over and then leave. None of them were familiar to me and despite my questions, Damon never explained who they were or why they were there. He just said that they were friends of his who wanted to check up on me, but I didn't know them so why did they care about me?

I snuck past my adoptive parent's room with ease once I gave their dog a treat to keep him from barking at me. Then with a heavy sigh, I made my way toward the stairs. I knew that the third, seventh and twelfth step creaked if you hit them near the center, so I made sure to avoid them as I made my way to the back door. All I could wish for was that there was an easier way out of the house, that way I wouldn't have to be so careful every time I left, but unfortunately that wasn't an option. There was a balcony in my room, but my feet had been permanently weakened because of the burns. If I jumped from anything higher than a few feet I would feel as if I had started walking on metal spikes. I would double over in pain, while waiting for my feet to desensitize from the fall.

There was a large smile plastered on my face as I got to the door. I had made it flawlessly through the house and was close to being outside, but when I tried to open it I realized that Mr. Ricker had put a lock on the outside of the door to keep me locked in. He must have found out that I was sneaking out because I had been doing it a lot lately, and anything could have tipped him off if he got up before I got back. I know he did it to keep me safe, but sometimes I needed to be on my own. It was the anniversary of the crash, and they feared for my life as this tragic day neared because of my past suicide attempt. Almost a full year ago I tried to take my life. I was leaving the house more often and they thought I was with friends, but I was really at the graveyard with my family, confessing what I was about to do and begging for forgiveness.

I had been in such a dark place after the crash and at one point had decided it would be better for me to end my life. It was the only way I saw the pain ending. Only a few people even knew about the failed attempt, but since then I was watched like a hawk. Now, Mr. Ricker was trying to keep me inside at night in case those dark thoughts returned, but there was something he didn't know. Well, there were two things actually. The first being that I had moved past the suicidal thoughts, and the second being that I knew how to pick a lock.

I walked quickly and quietly to the office on the first level, I grabbed a paper clip, and then pulled a bobby pin from my umber hair, letting a few stray dirty blonde strands fall into my face. I glanced at the lock with a smirk as I slipped the bobby pin and paper clip inside. I used the paper clip to keep the bobby pin up and to make the effect that the full key was in the lock. I raked the bobby pin back and forth until I heard the small pop that signified that the door was now unlocked. My smile grew as I slipped the bobby pin out of the lock and back into my hair, and tucked the paper clip into my pocket before opening the door.

"Better luck next time, James," I said to myself as I exited the house and shut the door quietly behind me. Before I left I slid the lock back into place from the other side of the door so that he wouldn't suspect anything if he woke up earlier than normal. After the lock was in place, I was finally able to focus on the brisk morning air that surrounded me as I walked toward the only place where I felt close to my birth family anymore.