secrets.

ii.

he walks in, and suddenly i can't breathe.

it's been so long.

he's taller now, and leaner and more muscled than last year, and his smile's so much brighter. i almost feel blinded.

so, with sunburnt eyes, i just nod as he takes his seat next to me.

"hey freakface," i say as he looks at me.

he grins, and my heart beats faster. "hey farkle."

i turn away so he can't tell how red my cheeks are.

inhale, exhale.

strange, it was never this way before. i wouldn't blush or anything when he was around. in middle school, we just laughed and talked without my body flaming like a forest fire.

inhale, exhale.

i'm fine. maybe it's my hormones, or something.

inhale, exhale.

it's just another day in the life of two friends. too very good friends, at that, but nonetheless we are just friends and only ever going to be just friends.

i fidget in my seat and wait for the teacher to begin class. and the world must have listened to my thoughts, as within the next second, i hear mr. matthews.

"today you will be sorted into partners," he says (isn't it weird that he's been our teacher for our entire life?). "yogi's going to pass out newspaper articles for me. there's something important in there i would like to show you, which i will also give you a short quiz on."

to this, the whole class groans and mr. matthews smiles in amusement.

"it's not hard, trust me. i wouldn't let you fail something on the first day." he pauses for a moment before pointing out partners. "alright, let's get going. farkle, riley. maya, charlie. lucas, sarah. zay, smackle. nigel, darby."

i don't bother to hear the rest.

i walk to riley's side and she greets me with a warm smile and twinkling brown eyes. i give her a smile of mine in return.

"how's your summer been, riles?" i ask.

"good. lonely. why didn't you answer my calls?"

my eyebrows go up as i reply, "oh jeez, i'm sorry. i must've not gotten them? i'll check later."

riley doesn't seem to believe me by the way she's staring at me. "you can't ignore your best friends' calls, farkle. that's rule number one of how not to lose your best friends in high school!"

i chuckle. ten years and she hasn't changed. "again, i'm sorry."

"forgiven," she sighs. "for now. now come on, you were always better with american history than i will ever be."

i laugh and flip open the article in front of us.

"unisex bathrooms now being installed in john adams high school: how does this make an impact on society?"

i breathe in slowly, a smile playing on my lips.

though my heart's racing and the grin on my face clearly shows my enthusiasm for the lgbt community, the first thing i could blurt out was: "wait, this isn't american history."

i catch both the class and mr. matthews' attention. it's not like i was ever self-conscious of myself, being a minkus, but i feel my cheeks begin to flush and my voice begin to stammer anyway.

"i mean, don't get me wrong, i'm happy about this. but how does this relate to the curriculum you're currently teaching?" i gesture vaguely to the bulletin board on the side of the room, which had printed text of tenth grade social studies topics.

i hear maya mumble, "when has he ever taught us anything related to the curriculum?"

true.

"we didn't even learn that much about what we were supposed to be learning last year," riley adds in, a bit quieter.

true again.

"farkle," it's mr. matthews this time. "i agree i don't follow the, ah, curriculum, exactly but if you looked at this from a different perspective, this is related to american history." i frown at him, confused, but sit down anyway, waiting for him to explain.

riley's father proceeds to write something on the whiteboard. it's the title. "unisex bathrooms now being installed in john adams high school: how does this make an impact on society?"

he underlines the last part.

"how does this make an impact on society?" he reads aloud, humor in his voice. "do you see it? this could very well affect history. and still," mr. matthews walks a little closer to our desks. "it's an important topic."

i don't fully understand his point of view, but i do see where he's coming from, and i do agree with him. so i stay silent for the rest of the period, even when riley's next to me, groaning as she finishes the "short" quiz her father gives us.

i don't blame her. thirty questions? welcome to high school, i guess.

the rest of the day goes by like a whim. all i remember are long presentations about the student handbook and a few lectures on bullying. though bullying is serious, and i haven't forgotten my own experience with it, the lectures start to get quite boring and repetitive.

i'm on my way to my locker when lucas greets me.

"farkle! i was beginning to think you weren't going to come out of that ap biology class."

i roll my eyes at him, a natural reflex. "i was reviewing topics i needed to study for with the teacher. you know we're going to have a pop quiz one of these days?" i set down my backpack and open my locker, casually sorting out the textbooks and papers i need to bring home. "what brings you here?"

"i wanted to walk with you."

i quirked an eyebrow.

"you know, home."

i swear something jolted in my body when he said that, but i shook it off with a laugh. "lucas, i know we're best friends, but i'm not comfortable moving in with you y-"

"that's not what i mean," lucas interrupts, letting out a laugh of his own. "i mean-"

"i know what you mean, cowboy. but i thought you live on the other side of the school?"

"not anymore," the blonde says. "we moved over the summer."

i cock my head to one side. "i thought you went to texas?"

"no, not for the entire summer. we came back for the last few weeks to pack and move."

"ah," i answer a bit absent-mindedly. then my curiosity took over. "wait, why move?"

lucas looks at me. "family stuff. my dad can't afford a house anymore so we're moving to an apartment."

i nod, "cool." i zip up my backpack and close my locker. i gaze upwards at him. "let's go then."

he beams at me, and a wave of warmth washes over.

inhale, exhale.