A chance to love again

Chapter 9

"What's your problem?" Harry asks, slamming the door shut. "Why are you acting like this?"

"What's my problem?" Louis almost shouts. "My problem is I'm getting fat and disgusting! I'm a complete freak! How many pregnant men have you seen waltzing down the street with their bellies out?! It's going to look like a fucking beer gut to people who don't know better! It isn't fair that you're not suffering at all from this!"

"I'm married to you isn't that enough suffering?" Harry growls, and when Louis' face falls, Harry instantly softens. "I didn't mean it that way. I just mean that- fuck, you're just being irrational lately and I can't fix any of it. You've been home for, what, two weeks? And you've been miserable and I feel like it's all my fault."

"That's because it is!" Louis yells. "You did this to me! And now I'm some freak of nature with a fucking uterus! And now I have to carry a baby like a fucking girl!"

"You said you wanted kids," Harry says quietly. "And it sounds like...you don't want this."

"I didn't say that," Louis snaps. "I love this baby. But it isn't fair that I have to be the freak while you get to walk around like everything is normal."

"Fair or not, it's happening, Louis. What do you want me to do, huh? What are you asking me for? Hide you away until you give birth and then tell everyone it's adopted or we had a surrogate? Good idea, just don't leave the house for the next six months and we'll have a doctor come here to deliver the baby, okay?"

"Shut up," Louis says lowly. "Stop it. That's not what I said."

"Than what are you saying?! Spell it out for me or something!" Harry groans loudly.

"I don't know, okay?! I just know this sucks! It sucks that I don't fit in any of my clothes. It sucks that I crave the fattiest foods possible and stuff I used to eat makes me vomit now. It sucks that you look as hot as ever and I'm disgusting. I'm even embarrassed to be shirtless around you, let alone naked. My hips are wider, my face is rounder, and my stomach is huge. Everything sucks, okay?!" Louis cries, sitting on the couch and letting out a sob. Harry watches him for a moment and looks at the way his shoulders shake and his body folds in on itself. It's painful to watch, actually. Harry is next to Louis right away and puts a hand over his back, rubbing large circles.

"Hey, Lou, shh," Harry murmurs. "Louis, can you look at me?"

"No."

"Please? I want to talk about this, okay?" Harry says, his voice soft.

"Well, I don't," Louis snarls.

"Nothing is going to get any better if you keep acting like this. We're married now, that means we have to communicate. We have to talk to each other when something is bothering us. We can't keep everything inside. You're having our baby, Louis. We need to talk about this."

"Then talk," Louis says, pushing himself against the couch and looking at his growing stomach. He's been wearing sweats and t-shirts to pretend he's not expanding like a balloon, but he feels it.

"Alright, fine. You're pregnant now, and there's nothing we can do about it. You're carrying another life inside of you. this is serious, okay? There's something growing inside of your belly that we made together and soon it's going to be a little person. Yeah, the fact of the matter is, you're going to gain weight. But when it's over, you'll lose the weight, and we'll be parents. We're going to have a baby to love and care for. We're going to watch it grow up. We're going to teach it to talk and talk and love it unconditionally. I don't know about you, but that sounds incredible. Do you know how hard it is for same sex couples that can't have a baby for whatever reason? Do you realize how lucky you are that you can pop out a baby whenever you want while some people are going to never have that? Did you consider that, Louis?" Harry says, trying to be gentle.