Tbjzl [Sidemen]

And I'd Give Up Forever To Touch You

"What time is it there?"

"Mm. Early."

"Maybe you should get some sleep."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and for a moment you'd feared it'd gone dead. Blanketed by the late-night darkness and tucked into your bed sheets, you waited with bated breath and the phone to your ear for Tobi's voice.

It sounded at last, the most grounding sound to ever grace your ears, despite the lovely tremors it sent through you. "Don't worry about me, love. If you're tired, you go to bed. I'm okay."

I'll always worry about you. "You're always up at all hours of the night."

"Filming, you know."

'Filming.' One of the many excuses Tobi used for not FaceTiming you. Your friends had told you countless times how shady this situation was; you were supposedly dating a cute British boy with a successful YouTube channel, but all you had to show for it was the channel link he'd texted you. I mean, sure, the voice that talked you to sleep every night sounded like the one in the videos you watched, but in this day and age, you could never be too sure (Max and Nev had taught you that especially). All you wanted from Tobi was something more than long phone conversations or picture messages. A Skype call would satisfy you fine.

But whenever you asked, the responses were the same: no.

Proposed in other words, of course. The rejections came in forms like "I'm busy," or "I gotta run," and "My computer already has so many things open, babe...sorry." You were starting to think that "Tobi" just didn't ever want to see you.

And if that was the case, then what were you doing, loving him like you did?

"Tobi," you said at last, voice laden with sleep. "You're absolutely lovely, you know."

Even the slightest of hesitations on his part had you on edge, heart pounding. "Yeah?" he wondered shortly. "Thanks, love, where's this coming from?"

"I..." You let your sentence drift away from you, gone like your tiredness as you sat up in bed. "Tobi, I know you've heard this from me a thousand times before but I really want to see you."

Tobi exhaled a chuckle. "I'd love to see you too, but we live hundreds of miles apart--"

"Video chat is fine with me, though! You know it is."

A pause. "Now? Y/n, it's so late."

"It's too late now, and earlier you were too busy. And before then you were with friends. I really want to believe in this relationship, Tobi, but I can't do that when I can't even be fully positive that it's you on the other end of the line."

Tobi stalled, and all you could hear as you stared at the wall across from your bed in the darkness was the beating of your heart. "And if I'm not, what then? If I'm not who you think I am."

This didn't sound promising at all. Your heart plummeted to your stomach. "Well, then I'd have a decision to make. Because you're absolutely the most wonderful person I've ever been with, but claiming to be a YouTuber with millions of subscribers is quite the lie to tell."

Tobi hummed. "I know why this is hard for you, Y/n. I don't mean to be difficult, I don't mean to upset you. I want you to feel like you trust me."

"I want to feel like that, too."

The sound of your muted, shaky breaths, mixed with his steady ones. Then:

"I'm FaceTiming you, princess. Allow me, it's late and I look like shit."

Your body went rigid, and then jerked into motion all at once. You reached across yourself for the light switch on the lamp, blinding yourself and blinking away the uncomfortable brightness. Frantically, you combed a couple of fingers through your hair and made yourself look as good as exhaustion, makeup-less-ness and artificial lighting allowed.

And then your call connected.

"Hello?"

Tobi's face, the one you'd come to know so well in photographs and in his vlogs and gaming videos, appeared before you on screen. It lagged once, and then a smile was taking over his countenance, and all of the tiredness evaporated from the both of you.

"Yeah, babe. It's me, love."

It was real. He was real, the relationship was real, it was all real. And you could hardly contain the flutter in your chest or the smile on your face as you stared back into his eyes, relieved and excited and so, so in love.

"Oh, my God, I feel like an asshole for not believing you."

"No, Y/n, you had every right." Tobi made the face you'd always envisioned him to make when he was speaking sincerely; one brow furrowed, nearly frowning but not yet. He was adorable, as kind and as gentle as his voice. "If anything, I was the asshole for never making time for you and expecting you to be okay with that. It wasn't fair to you, and I'm sorry."

"I understand, Tobi, you're busy. I'm just glad we're where we are now."

"I am too," he said in his late-night rasp, a faint smiling materializing upon his face. "You're beautiful, Y/n."

You wanted to joke with him like you were so used to doing; you wanted to tell him to fuck off, you weren't, and that you were in bed two minutes ago and looked like shit. And you wanted to tell him that it was totally worth the wait, seeing him for the first time after two months of officially dating and that he was everything you wanted and more. But you couldn't say anything, because everything was caught in your throat, so jumbled up inside of you and itching to come out that nothing came out at all.

And just when you'd thought you were recovering from your speechlessness, grounded only by Tobi's deep brown-eyed gaze, he said something that knocked your world off of its axis all over again. "I love you, you know."

It was so casual, just like him. So comfortable and straightforward--your relationship in a nutshell. And you wouldn't have wanted the news delivered any other way.

"I love you, too," you replied softly, chuckling. "You know?"

Tobi's face lit up, and you spent the rest of the call chatting about dreams to meet up, and dreams in general, and dreams about each other that you'd surely be having that night. And Tobi promised to make more time for you, saying that there was no way he'd be able to survive a day without seeing you anymore, and you promised to fly out to see him in person one day.

And when you went to sleep that night, you did dream about Tobi, and the face he makes when he's about to laugh and his half-smirk when he's teasing you. You missed him when you finally hung up, but you felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of your shoulders. He was real, and he was yours.

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Thanks to May for the request! :)