Yesterday was so friggin' fun man! I had so much fun. I haven't seen them all day and it's friggin' 5:45. I look outside and I see Mason and Ethan hangin out with two other girls. Oh dang it. I've got attached to them.
I don't like like them you know but I like them. Let me sum it up for you. IM JEALOUS. I creep in the corner of the blinds like a rapist looking for its next victim. I see them laughing and stuff. I feel like cheese... wait what. You know that feeling when you just wanna give up that's what I feel like.
I'm a really emotional person people give me a break and plus I'm going through my depression episode so I'm fragile. I guess I'll go to paper airplanes and breathe to get my mind off of things.
I gathered my belongings put snacks in there and left. When I left out of the drive way I went past the twins to say hi. The looked dead at me but said NOTHING. The girls looked at me disgusted and I heard them mumble "Ew you have black people on your street? I feel bad for you." One of the girls said. I looked at them awkwardly then started to tear up. I wanted the tears to become so noticeable so they'll feel bad.
I wiped my eyes then stormed to paper airplanes. My mind was racing through thoughts. Thinking about my skin color my body and life. I wanted to just like kill someone. I needed to release my anger. Once I got to paper airplanes I pulled some grass then screamed "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK FUCK." I threw the grass fell on the ground looked up at the sky and cried. All my built up emotions just released. I started beating my self up thinking my skin is disgusting. My skin is disgusting. I HATE MYSELF!! I WANNA DIE KILL ME NOW. I ran towards the woods then fell. I started sobbing at this point. "I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life." I kept repeating to myself. Kill me now. Someone pass the bleach.
I sat down rethought everything and then got up and looked up and just looked at the view. And went on the sand I took my flip flops off and sat on the sand looking up at the beautiful view. A tear streamed Down my cheek. I just wanna go to sleep and not wake up.
"Beautiful view isn't it." A voice said. "Yeah it is." I replied not paying attention to the boy next to me. "Wait hold up. Mason?" I said looking at the boy. "Why are you here?? Did you follow me?" I asked slightly screaming. "Mia calm down." Mason said. "WHY THE FUCK YOU TELLING ME TO CALM DOWN!!?" I yelled standing up and looking down at him.
"I'm sorry Mia. Are you ok?" He asked. "I'm sorry Mia. Oh man." Mason said tearing up with me. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. Oh I feel so bad." Mason said wig tears streaming down his cheek. "Well you should be! You freaking fucked with my emotions on my period and top that I'm going through my depression disorder. I could've freaking killed myself idiot!" I yelled having to take my built up anger on him. After I yelled at him I could saw him looking so vulnerable I felt bad. He cried and I cried.
I hugged him and we cried on each others shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm just so sad. I wanna die. I can't take this anymore. It's too much emotion to much stress. I just wanna be free." I said whispering on his shoulder. As soon as I said that he pulled away real quick. "Wait what?! Mia NO!! don't think that. No no. You have a loving family. You have a family that love you, don't waste your life on this it's not worth it." Mason said trying to tame the problem. "No Mason you don't get it. I have to go through this until we get money. We don't have enough money to pay for therapy. So I have to live through hell everyday. I hate my life." I said softly trying not to sob even harder.
"You don't need therapy I'll be your therapy. Come on let's start today. I'll be your therapist. Did you know when you spell therapist it's just like saying 'the rapist' " Mason said causing me to laugh. "Ok fine. Only because you have good jokes." I said as we both chuckled. He pulled me in for a hug at the right time.
"I brung a blanket. Wanna wrap up in the blanket and talk?" I asked Mason pulling my bag out. "Yeah. Good idea mia! Hi five!" Mason said putting his hand out. This dude is so lame man.
I pulled out my blanket and we started talking. You know what this actually works. The sunset, the blanket, the talking, and Mason is the most therapeutic thing ever.
"Thanks Mason. You really helped me today. I needed it." I said as I pulled in closer to him snuggling on his shoulder. "You're welcome. I love this. Let's do it everyday." Mason said wrapping his arm around me. I nodded and smiled.
We talked some more shared stories then heading home. Once we got to our street I saw the girls again. They stared and me and mumbled another thing. "Crybaby!" They screamed at me. "Where?!" I looked around. "Man don't play with me like that I thought they were selling the album crybaby. Melanie Martinez is BAE." I said. They rolled their eyes and me and Mason smiled. "Where were you? Mason." One girl said. "With my friend." Mason said. "Haha you have a black girlfriend!" They laughed pointing at him. "Ok and.. #loveislove race,gender,sexuality, religion doesn't define love. #lovewins." Mason said throwing out all these hashtags. "Forget you. Come on Ethan." The girls said rolling their eyes with Mason following their tails.
"Bye Mason!" I said waving at him. "Bye my 'black girlfriend'." Mason said said waving causing me to smile.
YOU ARE READING
'Paper Airplanes'
مغامرة"Let's name it paper airplanes!" I said thinking about paper towns the movie. "What?" Ethan said with a puzzled look on his face. "That's actually a good idea." Mason said. "Look at the sign." I said pointing towards the sign. "Ohhhhhh." Ethan said.
