My heels dug into the plush ground of PlowBoy Mason's farm. Some "shit rap music" (quote from Annika) was vibrating through the large event. A mix of Italians, Mexicans and Americans all mingled into the crowd, forming a snaking serpent along the forest green grass.
I had walked here all the way from my apartment. You see, Veronica pays shit wages and it's not enough to buy even a wackjob car. So I'm resorting to walking or shagging a guy and getting a free ride. #YOLO, right?
There I saw Mason and Vera, the sexual vibes fluttering off of them like some horny teenagers. I marched over to Vera, her being 1 out of 2 of my female friends. Grabbing a drink, I proceeded through the night, chatting here, chatting there and watching Netta ride Mason's tractor. Not THAT tractor, a literal tractor...
So there I was, minding my own business, the only guy around me even hot enough to shag being Dick Fynder, and this tall, brown haired lad with braces clung tightly to his jeans comes striding over. He was sure hot and I was pretty sure I could make Farm Fucking #2: Lorena and Tommy style.
I was a bit precarious after being kidnapped and stalked by a Human Trafficker the previous nights. However, this guy was definitely interesting and I hadn't had a good shag for, well, 7 hours? So on we went towards the shed when he 'nipped off to the toilet'.
When he finally returned, things had been shaken up. A few whispers and 'goss' here and this braces wearing man was the talk of the pigpen. Did I care? No, I just wanted to whip them braces off and dive down into the haystack.. So we continued our journey up the muddy path toward the famous spot for fucking.. The Barn.
But alas, the night did not end well. An angry Tommaso whirled up a fight over his clambering affection toward me. I mean who could resist my slutty ways and cut across my forehead? My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Especially this farmyard.
So with my friends worried for my safety a fight broke out and the hotty, Timothy or Tommy, whatever, was struck in the neck by the limelight seeking Netta. I must admit, she suits the crazy tart role very well. (JUST KIDDING ADD HER PLS I LIKE YOU REALLY NETTA). Mason Garnett, the little nutter, obviously whipped out his gun. No, no that gun.. A literal gun. The whole thing was a blur and we moved across the farm to different spots, just screaming and shouting and stabbing eachother. Baring in mind this is just a normal night for us!
Soon we were in the barn. But we were far from fucking. With a wounded Tommy and some angry friends, we decided (or I got carried it's still a little hazy) to leave. And that was another night on PlowBoy Mason's farm. Will the next night be as hectic? Will there be more romance? Will the barn EVER be used for it's purpose? Find out next time on: Farm Adventures!
