A/N- TW: This story contains some content that may be inappropriate for some readers, if you have suicidal thoughts I want to remind you that you are loved and if you need help, my DM's are always open if you can't trust someone you know.
2:17am
I lie in my bed.
Not awake but not asleep either.
Waiting for the next few hours to pass by.
I find myself in these positions more often than before and it is as if I'm being swallowed by a darkness. A darkness that has been inside of me this whole time.
From when I was a child, crying in my mother's arms because of a scrape on my knee, up until this very moment. I lie still waiting for the darkness to consume me.
I have always feared this part of myself and I wonder... is this a part that should be feared? Or a part to be embraced?
And if I do embrace it, will it hurt me, the ones that I love or those I have yet to meet? I know it will hurt someone but I don't know who...or why.
All I can do is hope that morning comes before I lose my last shred of hope...or humanity. I'm not sure which anymore.
4:06am
Still two more hours until sunrise. There is hope for me yet. But I still feel the darkness becoming stronger and my will to fight it becoming weaker.
The voices in my head are telling me conflicting choices and also conflicting consequences. They are getting louder and louder but I can't seem to make them stop.
"Do it" says one "all your pain will be lifted. " But yet another says " it's not worth it. The latter becoming smaller, almost a whisper, as the formerscreams "do it! There is nothing left in you to fight." He's right.
5:25am
The darkness has won.
