The day I first met you, I remember watching you from the couch. You were sitting with Tony and laughing at Sam freaking out about Tony disarming Redwing. I remember noticing that you had dimples and I remember thinking that they enhanced your smile. I knew at that moment, I wanted to see that smile again.
The first time I talked to you was when Steve asked you for movie recommendations. I remember noticing that you had a little bit of grey in your eyes. Just around the pupil, fading into green. I remember thinking that it reminded me of the sea. You eyes lit up as soon as you mentioned 'Bambi'.
The first time I touched you was when everyone was mad at me for breaking the air conditioning in the middle of July. But you weren't. You stayed when no one would eat dinner with me. You grabbed my hand to lead me to the theatre so we could watch you favourite feel good movies. I remember your hand being smooth against my calloused one and the buttery lotion you had just smeared on felt soothing on my hands. Or maybe it was just your touch.
The first mission I had with you, you saved my life. I remember being careless and forgetting to check my perimeter. I remember you yelling "Bucky!" and pulling me to the ground. You got a bullet to the leg. No one had ever done that to me. It made me feel special.
The first time I kissed you was when we were at Tony's gala. You wore that stunning red dress that draped over you like silk. You looked so desirable with your hair braided to the side and your wine coloured lipstick. I remember you tasting like strawberries and crisp champagne.
The first time I held you was when you discovered that I was having nightmares and you stayed the night. We talked for hours before started to dose off. You let me hold you like a security blanket. I remember feeling safe and warm. I remember feeling cared for.
The first time I realized that I love you was when we spent the entire day in bed, tangled in the sheets. I remember hovering over you and tickling you. I remember staring into the grey of your eyes and falling for you completely.
The first time I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you was when we were sitting by the window, reading on a dreary Sunday afternoon. I remember staring at you and thinking that I could look at you forever. I remember the corner of your mouth tilting up as you read a funny part in the novel as you chewed on your fingernail.
Since then, I've dreamed about looking into your eyes and hearing you say "I do." I've dreamed about choosing our dream house and moving day. I've dreamed about painting the rooms and doing DIY projects that we never finish so we end up calling Tony. I've dreamed of watching you as you dance outside, where the sunlight highlights your brown hair and your smile as you bask in the warm sunlight.
When you finally do say "I do," it's not 'I' anymore. It's we.
We'll get to go to ultrasound appointments together.
We'll get to go to parent-teacher conferences.
We'll get to watch the paint on the walls start to crack over the years. We'll get to see our children grow up and make a change in the world. We'll get to hear the creaks in the house grow louder and louder.
As all of that is happening, I'll get to see the wrinkles around your eyes become more lined. But don't worry, I won't notice them because I'll still be mesmerized by the grey in your eyes. Bambi will forever be my favourite movie because that was when I first talked to you. Every year on your birthday, I'll buy you a bottle of the hand cream you used. The coconut one. On our anniversary, we'll have strawberries and champagne. The curtains in our bedroom will be made of red silk. Every once in a while I'll read that book you read on the day I decided that I wanted marry you.
When we are old and the world doesn't need us anymore, my mind will replay all of these memories. When we're listening to music. When we're doing crossword puzzles in the Sunday paper. When we watch the evening news. I'll look over at you and the first thing I see will be your dimples. Your dimples that enhance your smile and your smile is what I always want to see.
