1. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Why not take today off?
2. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes from your mouth.
3. Remember when I asked you for your opinion? Me neither.
4.If you're waiting for me to care, I hope you brought a something to eat, 'cause it's gonna be a really long time.
5. some day you'll go far- and i really hope you stay there.
6.I'm trying my absolute hardest to see thing from your perspective, but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
7. Sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
8. I'm not a petrologist, but I know an asshole when I see one
9.You only annoy me when you're breathing, really.
10. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.
11.I don't know what your problem is, but I'm guessing it's hard to pronounce.
12.Do your parents even realize they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right?
13. Remember that time I said I thought you were cool? I lied.
14.Everyone's entitled to act stupid once in awhile, but you really abuse the privilege.
15.I can't help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your dad had just pulled out.
16.Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd gotten enough oxygen at birth?
17.Please, save your breath. You'll probably need it to blow up your next date.
18.Can you die of constipation? I ask because I'm worried about how much shit is inside of you.
19.Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
20.Good story, but in what chapter do you shut the fuck up?
21.Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen.
22. please, keep talking. I only yawn when I'm super fascinated.
23.The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
24.I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.
25. Sorry, I didn't get that. I don't speak bullshit
26.If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
27. Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I'm around?
28.There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.
29. I was a pro life. Then I met you.
30.You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
