Relationships

Chapter 3

Xander Torres
October 13rd, 2016

Oh Mia added me. I looked at the name that she had for her snapchat Mia Elizabeth. Wowe her middle names Elizabeth?!? I've gotta tease her about this

I texted her,"Hey Mia Elizabeth 😂" I started listening to music until she texted back. After about 20 minutes she texted.

"Hahah shut up. It's just a middle name"

Just a middle name? Yes, but it just didn't sound like her to have a name like Elizabeth. So I, of course, teased her on.

"Nah Elizabeth sounds too proper" I texted. This time she texted back after about a minute.

"Saying I'm not proper?"

"...."

"Hahah ouch rude"

October 19th, 2016
Mia Matthews
Around 9pm

"Yeah right, I bet you're terrible at keeping secrets" I teased. We'd somehow gotten into the conversation of secrets and whether or not we're good at keeping them.

"I am too good at keeping secrets. I'd keep yours if you'd ever let me know any"

I began to get nervous because sharing my past wasn't my favorite thing to do. "Yeah like I'd ever do that" at that time I was glad it was said through text so he wouldn't sense my nervousness. But at that same time I felt safe with him. It felt weird to want to tell him about me.
It wasn't me.

"Well why don't you?" Although it was through Text I can sense the suspicion.

"Because I-I don't want to" it was getting harder to type. I was shaking so much that a still hand seemed near impossible.

"How about this. You can ask me anything and I'll answer honestly, and if you want to tell me about yourself you can, but if you don't that's okay too."

I hesitated. How could he just trust people so easily? Why was he so willing to tell me about himself? Why was he even interested in my past? "I can ask you anything?" I finally texted back.

"Anything"

"Okay let me think of a good question"

"Hahah alright, take your time"

I thought about it. I didn't want to ask him something too personal but I also didn't wanna ask him something lame. "What's your story?" I finally asked.

"My story?"

"You know, your story. Everyone's got a past, so what's yours? Sum up the good and the bad."

"Oh well I'm from California, I have 1 sister, no brothers, and my parents are divorced"

Simple. I liked it,"oh, sorry about your parents"

"Nah, it's cool. They've been divorced for a long time already. So... You think you wanna talk about yourself now?"

I was hoping he'd forget and we could just talk about something else. But then again I can tell him whatever I wanted. I didn't have to tell him something personal....but for some reason I wanted to. "Uhm I don't know."

"I won't tell anyone what you tell me. I promise"

I didn't want to tell him anything but at the same time I wanted to tell him everything. And I wanted to hear him tell me I was going to be okay, that it'll pass and I'll look back at it and laugh at myself....

"Okay I'll do it. You can ask me anything and I'll answer as honestly as possible" I finally replied.

"You sure?"

"Don't make me change my mind"

"Hahah alright then the same question"

I thought about it. What was I supposed to say? That I used to self harm? That I still had those occasional thoughts I'd think as I sliced my own wrist? That I still didn't feel "okay"?

He texted me again. It's been 5 minutes since he had asked me the question and I'd still hadn't replied. I opened the message,"if you don't want to answer the question, that's okay"

There he's given you a way out. Take it. But I didn't want to. I finally replied it with... something,"I'm from California too, I have 2 older sisters, and I've got some serious issues" I hesitantly hit send and waited for his reply. He texted.

"Issues? How so?"

Oh god, why'd I do that? Now he's gonna be curious. Now he's gonna wanna know more about me. I texted back trying to change the subject,"uh just some stuff. Not important...so Wyd?"

"Mia?"

"Yeah?"

"Talk to me"

There's nothing talk to him about. "There's nothing to talk about" I could here my heart beating in my ears.

"Talk to me"

It was coming out. I knew I was gonna tell him. Why though? What was it about him that made him seem trustworthy? "I Uhm, I used to cut..."

Why'd I do that? My hands were shaking and I felt tears coming, not because I told him but because the memories were rushing back. He texted back and I argued with myself whether to open it or ignore it forever. Obviously, I opened it.

"I was suicidal too. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

I was scared so I simply replied with,"okay thanks I've got to go"
***
July 5th, 2016
Mia Matthews

Xander texted back. He played dumb the whole time, saying he didnt know what I was talking about. Asking me where I'd get an idea that he had flirted with my friend throughout the whole time we were together. I didn't wanna text him back anymore.

But No matter how mad I was never stopped missing him throughout the whole summer....